“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” Sam Keen, To Love and Be Loved
The other night when my husband suggested we to “go to bed,” I had a revelation. Groaning inwardly yet again at the thought of having sex, I heard a voice within saying, “Consider yourself lucky. He finds you desirable.”
I have always hated my body. Now that I am nearing sixty I can barely look at myself in the mirror.
This perception of ugliness has made giving myself to my husband difficult over the course of our thirty-eight-year marriage. How can he possibly find me attractive? And yet, he does.
He never really “looks” at other women. He only sees me.
In our bedroom we have a painting of the Blessed Virgin Mary praying over the Blessed Sacrament. She watches over us. And the other night when I heard that message, I sensed it was her, wise and beautiful mother that she is, reminding me of the blessing I have in my husband. Rather than dread his affections, why not welcome them in gratitude?
I realized too that I still find him desirable despite his “beer belly” and graying hair. We are both lovely in our imperfections.
It’s time for me to say “thank you” in my heart and through my actions to my husband every time he wants me. It’s a reminder of how God wants us, with our lumpy bodies, broken lives and stained souls.
Thank you Father, for loving us as we are. May we always strive to be all you want us to be.
How can I show my spouse that he/she is a blessing to me?
copyright 2016 Lisa M. Hendey and Sarah A. Reinhard; The Catholic Mom’s Prayer Companion is published by Ave Maria Press.