Sisters, sisters …

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Kitty Clubbers! One of you (Rose Marie W, thanks!) sent me the perfect picture of the Sisters Spooky and Venus:

Sisters, sisters … Spooky and Venus

I couldn’t resist. I had to post this video, one of my favorite songs, one my best friend and I used to sing together.  From “White Christmas” I present Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen singing “Sisters.” Imagine Spooky and Venus in their places. 🙂

Click to Tweet & Share: Spooky and Venus rival Rosemary Clooney and Vera Ellen in “White Christmas” singing “Sisters” 🙂 #sevenkittens http://wp.me/p2D9hg-9i

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Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

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Tweets of the Week: kayaks, scenery, cats, weather, birds … take your pick!

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from http://www.mnn.com/family/pets/stories/cat-helps-boy-express-his-emotions

In an effort to invite as many as I can to visit Be as One, I maintain an account on Twitter (and you can follow my tweets in the side bar – there’s a link where you can follow me). I’m following several interesting people and organizations and thought that on a regular basis, I would share interesting tweets and links with you.

Here are this week’s Tweets of the Week:

from http://wildbirdsunlimited.typepad.com

from Kenn Kaufman ‏@KennKaufman
Roger Tory Peterson artwork going up for auction soon. The background story

and from Wild Birds Unlimited ‏@WildBirdsUnlmtd
Funny bald Blue Jay – Wordless Wednesday – Don’t Speak with your Mouth Full

Click to Tweet & Share: Tweets of the Week: kayaks, scenery, cats, weather, birds … take your pick! http://wp.me/p2D9hg-92

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Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

Detachment: a “dirty word” that promises freedom

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What feelings come up when you read the following two words:

  • Obedience
  • Detachment

Are your feelings positive or negative?

Are these words to be avoided at all costs or embraced?

Do these words hinder your freedom or enhance it?

In a later post I will deal with obedience, one of the most freeing words in the entire English language.

Today I will deal with detachment because I finally found out what it means.

Detachment can strike fear into the hearts of those pursuing an authentic spiritual life. It means walking away and letting go.

What do I have to give up?

Will I have to watch less TV, skip that beer or ice cream, put aside dreams of a tropical winter get-away in order to instead travel to snowbound Buffalo to visit elderly parents?

Will I have to give up something, or someone I dearly love?

What will I have to sacrifice?

Detachment in part means sacrifice and both words have a negative connotation in this age of you-can-have-it-all.

And there’s more to sacrifice than giving up time, money and material items. There are feelings inside of us that need to be sacrificed too.

That sacrifice is known as self-control.

Thud. Another word that stirs up a negative connotations.

In this age of exposing ourselves on Facebook and Twitter, self-control has fallen by the wayside.

When we feel bad, we show it. Why hide it? We not only show it, we indulge in it. We feel entitled to wallow in it. Hell, we feel like crap so why not just let it take over?

At some point you long to escape. Escape, as you know, comes about in many unhealthy, even deadly forms. Just ask Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson and Anna Nicole Smith.

Oh that’s right. We can’t.

What does all this have to do with detachment? Here’s how.

And I only just learned this in the last few days.

On Saturday we said goodbye to our 26 year-old son. He is moving from his place near our home in central MA to Brooklyn, NY to explore new options in his life. It’s only four hours away but it might as well be on the other side of this planet to this mother’s heart.

I urged him to go.

Heck, I was the main cheerleader. And I was bound and determined not to lose it in front of him.

So just before the big goodbye, I stole away to the bathroom in his house and begged God to help me put a lid on my emotions.

The response was an impulse to pray the Hail Mary.

With that first of many Hail Mary’s I recalled that the Mother of Jesus had to endure such a goodbye too. She would understand and she would listen to me.

I then rifled through my pocketbook and found my rosary ring. I put it in my pocket and fingered it, continuing to pray.

And when it came time to say goodbye, I only cried a little.

We exchanged warm hugs and a few tears flowed but I held it together.

I realized at that moment that asking God to intervene, He stepped in between my son and myself, providing that little bit of detachment that allowed me to keep a lid on my emotions.

Later on in the privacy of my kitchen, I had my cry.

Detachment saved me from embarrassment, not only for myself, but for my son and everyone else that was there when we exchanged goodbyes.

from http://www.physicsoftheuniverse.com/topics_blackholes_blackholes.html

And now I am working on building on that detachment.

The pain of saying goodbye is not unlike grief and it can become a black hole, sucking you in and smothering the life out of you.

The natural inclination is to go towards that black hole.

The smart thing to do is to step back.

I work up this morning filled with pain over the goodbye. But I washed up, went to Sunday mass, did the food shopping and spent the day with my husband.

I clung to God and made a deliberate effort to tell that black hole I wasn’t going to be sucked in.

It wasn’t easy.

A lot of the time I just wanted to lay down on my bed and go to sleep.

The lesson of yesterday’s goodbye and the taste of freedom from that small bit of detachment gave me the impetus to keep pursuing it.

I sacrificed the urge to give in to the pain.

Using self-control, I deliberately turned away from pain of the past and fixed my gaze upon the future.

Little things like a medium Dunkin’ Donuts mocha ice coffee helped in the cause.

God teaches us detachment for a reason.

He wants to set us free. I feel like I have discovered a most precious secret.

And so I bid my son a bittersweet farewell, knowing it’s for the best and wishing him many blessings in his journey.

I have already found mine.

Click to Tweet & Share: Saying goodbye to our son hurt but taught me something new: turning to God, I learned to walk away & not lose it. http://wp.me/p2D9hg-8s

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Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

Forget it and move on

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The associate pastor at my parish of St. Luke the Evangelist, Fr. Edwin Gomez, gives wonderful homilies. From time to time I’d like to share them with you. This is  his homily  from Sunday, August 19, 2012, the 20th Sunday in Ordinary Time on the liturgical calendar.

The readings used for that week were Proverbs 9:1-6, Psalm 34:2-7, Ephesians 5:15-20, John 6:51-58.

Fr. Edwin reminds us of something we often forget. He begins with a story …

An 80-year-old couple was having a problem remembering things; they decided to start writing things down and make notes to help each other remember.

One night while watching TV, the old man got up from his chair and his wife asks, “Where are you going?”

He replies, “To the kitchen.”

She asks, “Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?”

He replies, “Sure.”

She then asks him, “Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it?”

He says, “No, I can remember that.”

She then says, “Well, I also would like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down ‘cause I know you’ll forget that.”

He says, “I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.”

She replies, “Well, I also would like whip cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down.”

With irritation in his voice, he says, “I don’t need to write that down, I can remember that.”

He then went into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returns from the kitchen and hands her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment and says, “You forgot my toast.”

Forgetful and Very Wise at the same time. Ha!

“Brothers and sisters: watch carefully how you live, not as foolish persons but as wise” (Ephesians 5:15) To be wise is the invitation. And today I am going to share with you my greatest discovery…I have found the way to become really wise.

Ready?

In order to be wise you have to be forgetful as God is forgetful. You have to imitate God’s forgetfulness.

Surprised? Let me explain.

Think about His mercy. He forgives you and unlike humans, He forgets.

He holds no bitterness, no resentments, no anger against you for anything you have done in the past.

The past is history, the future is a mystery, so live in the present with no fear of recrimination or punishment.

You cannot be wise unless you have been in some kind of interpersonal, interactive relationship with God. Only will you know that God is compassionate, that He will let you start over again, every day fresh and new.

Good News: God forgives anyone who is willing to be forgiven. Willingness is the key here … that is the only requirement to becoming wise.

And this is the bread from heaven. (“I am the living bread that came down from heaven…” Gospel of John, 5:51)

This is what we need to learn to eat. To eat the life of God.

And if you do not have a life with God, an hour in church on Sunday is probably not going to make up for you. If you are not living with your merciful and “forgetful” friend all week, an hour during the weekend does not create a friendship.

That friendship has to be pursued and nurtured morning, afternoon and night as with every true friend that you have.

And then, you learn how to imitate God’s love and how to be wise, because you know what God is like. God is El Amigo, is a companion, is someone who loves you more than you love yourself, who forgives you more easily than you even know how to forgive yourself.

Today is a new day, a day in your journey to meet the friend, to meet the “forgetful” God. The only way to become wise is to imitate God, the One who loves you just the way you are, the One who is forgetful and forgiving about your past and loves you.

“A wise man once sat before an audience and cracked a joke … all of them laughed like crazy. After a moment he cracked the same joke again, and fewer people laughed … he cracked the same joke once again and no one laughed. Then he smiled and said ‘If you can’t laugh at the same joke again and again, then why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again?’”

Forget the past and move on.

“Loving God, help us to imitate you … help us to forgive and forget as You forgive and forget. Amen.”

Fr. Edwin Gomez, former associate pastor of St. Luke the Evangelist Parish, Westborough, MA

Click to Tweet & Share: Forget about it! God’s way of forgetfulness is the truest love of all http://wp.me/p2D9hg-86

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Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

Acts of kindness are alive and well

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This piece was posted on the Facebook page of my son Stephen who is 26. I asked him if I could share it with you.

The next time the world starts to get you down with all the darkness, selfishness and cruelty that seems endless, think of little stories like this and remember that decency, thoughtfulness and childlike purity are all alive and well.

After picking up my girlfriend Nic from her place, I noticed a Buzz Lightyear toy lying in the road while at a stoplight.

In a rush of pity and instinct I jumped out of the car to save it from oncoming traffic. As we were driving away, I noticed a Woody doll lying on the opposite end of the street staring forlornly at us as we drove off.

For the next ten minutes I lamented only being able to save one of them from a miserable fate until Nic finally suggested that maybe I should go back and retrieve him as well.

Feeling kind of silly and stupid, but determined nonetheless, I turned the car around at the Hess station in Watertown to go back. Sure enough, the Woody was still lying in the street.

As I pulled over to park, I noticed a tall biker gently reach down and pluck Woody off street and walk to a parked car nearby. Woody and Buzz Lightyear, sidekicks from the Toy Story series,  usually come in a set and figuring if he was rescuing one he’d want the set, I got out of the car and walked over to hand over Buzz Lightyear to him.

Friends forever: Woody and Buzz Lightyear

As it turned out, the Biker was handing the toy to its original owner, a small kid who had accidentally dropped both toys out of the car as he and his mother had driven down the street some time earlier.

“Woody!” he excitedly yelled as he was reunited with his lost toy.

The mother smiled as the Biker and his girlfriend joked that she should drive with the windows up from now on.

The boy’s eyes lit up even more as I handed over Buzz Lightyear and explained that I had found it earlier and felt bad splitting the two famous friends up.

“Buzz!” he exclaimed, and hugged the two toys to him.

There was a quiet moment between the four adults as we all chuckled a little and smiled at each other.

Thinking about it as I drove away, I realized that had I come at any other time, this moment would never have taken place.

I guess it just goes to show that it’s never the wrong time to try and do something nice, even if you’re not sure why you’re doing it in the first place.

Stephen Bailey

Click to Tweet & Share: Toy Story friends Woody and Buzz Lightyear inspire unexpected acts of kindness. Decency lives! http://wp.me/p2D9hg-7T

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Review: Jeff Goins’ impressive new book, WRECKED “slams” into life as we know it

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Pain, suffering and sacrifice are dirty words in today’s world, meant to be avoided at all costs. In the process, the meaning and value have been lost.

Wrecked: When a Broken World Slams into Your Comfortable Life, the impressive debut book by blogger Jeff Goins not only restores the meaning to suffering and sacrifice, but exhorts the reader to value, embrace and learn from them.

What does it mean to be “wrecked?”

Goins describes it as a painful, often messy experience that opens your eyes to a new life. It is transformative, introducing you to sacrificial love if you’re willing to go along for the ride.

He shares experiences in his life that have “wrecked” him, the first one taking place in Spain while spending a semester overseas.

Putting a name to the poor

Goins met a homeless man and quickly developed a relationship with him. The “poor” suddenly became a flesh and blood person with a name and Goins grew to care about him. It was a first of many experiences that would alter his life course forever.

Why Wrecked is important

  • It is a radical book, “slamming” into the conventions of
    21st century life    :
    “Our culture is so individualistic and wired for success that we often miss the point of life. We think it’s about self-actualization, about becoming the best version of ourselves. It’s not. It’s about losing ourselves.” (pg. 40, ebook)
  • It is counter to everything society says is necessary for
    “the good life:”
    “We are conditioned to believe life is supposed to be comfortable. But ask anyone like my friend Matt who has radically changed his life, and they’ll tell you the best decisions they made were when they were uncomfortable … What we have to learn to do is lean into the things that hold us back, to move through the pain and push forward.” (pg. 42, ebook)
  • It gets to the core of the Gospel of Jesus, a core that is often sanitized, glossed over in favor of the warm and fuzzy “God loves you.”
    Instead it confronts the Cross:
     “If we are to follow the Jesus who suffered with us and bled for us, we too must suffer.” (pg. 33, ebook).

Christian without being “Christian”

Wrecked imparts the core message without mucking it up with a lot of “church speak.” This book, although produced by a Christian publisher, speaks clearly to all people with a language that anyone who is searching for the meaning of his or her life will understand.

A book for Millennials

Even though there is much written about mission work and social justice (as this is Goins’ experience), don’t be fooled by this emphasis – this is not a book on becoming a missionary. Wrecked is the handbook for the Millennial generation. A Millennial himself, Goins spells out the problems, diagnoses them and offers the cure.

Wrecked also shouldn’t be construed as just another self-help book or spiritual guide. It is rather the authentic account of someone who writes honestly, understands spirituality and has “been-there-done-that.”

Imperfections

Wrecked isn’t perfect. Goins’ trajectory for the journey of life (having adventures when you’re young and making long term commitments as you get older) is sound but maintains that if you don’t have these adventures when you are young, you will spend the rest of your life trying to recapture your youth or relive old dreams (pg. 71, ebook).

Obviously that is true in many cases but what he doesn’t take into account are late bloomers like me and the whole idea of second chances. I was too timid in my youth to have adventures and married young, raising two children. Losing my parents between 2003 and 2010 “wrecked” me and subsequently transformed my life. Now in my 50s I am pursing the creative vocation I believe God has called me to with total dedication, confidence and commitment. I did things backwards – committing first (to my vocations as wife and mother) and having my adventure later on.

Priorities

My other problem with Wrecked is one I see frequently with regards to Christians and service – that of the the cart being put before the horse.

When Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment (Matthew 22), He presented two: loving God and then loving neighbor, making it clear that loving God needed to comes first. A close, loving relationship with our Creator results in a pouring forth of grace which empowers us to love and serve our neighbor. Being immersed in God allows us to see Him in others and the desire to serve becomes irresistible.

Goins mentions the Gospel story of Martha (the busy one) and Mary (the introspective one) but fails to mention Mary and the need to take the time to sit at the feet of God. I can’t be sure if he assumes the reader knows this or not. He does stress the importance of taking care of our inner lives and he also makes it clear we need to let go and allow God to lead but I was hoping for a more direct connection between taking care of ourselves and allowing God to take care of us.

Committed to Wrecked

That being said, I bought a copy of Wrecked as a going away present for my Millennial son who is heading to New York City from sleepy central Massachusetts at the end of this month.

I also got the Wrecked ten-week study guide which I intend to use with my eleventh-grade Sunday School class. And I’ve recommended it to a deacon friend of mine who runs a young adult book club at his church.

My advice: commit yourself to Wrecked.

Click to Tweet & Share: Jeff Goins’ impressive debut book, Wrecked, “slams” into life as we know it http://wp.me/p2D9hg-1k

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Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

Frodo and Hobbiton: Kayaking on Lake Waban at Wellesley College

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Easily the best trip of the season. Can’t wait to come back!

This was a trip to fairyland, to everything I imagined Hobbiton to be.

It was hard to leave, reminding me of the great courage Frodo Baggins demonstrated in forsaking all this beauty to set out on his quest.

His life’s flow brought him to extreme danger, ugliness, terror and ultimately, heroics.

He had the courage to let his river carry him.

Kayaking has shown me in a graphic way how to let my river carry me. Some of the time the trip is bucolic, like this one to Lake Waban at Wellesley College.

Other times the water gets rough and it can get dangerous.

For today though, I want to share photos of a trip that was easily the best of this season. The conditions were perfect (90+ degree day, sunny and breezy) and the lake was teaming with families/clusters of birds.

Enjoy the beauty and see if you can imagine your river.

Click to Tweet & Share: Kayaking teaches me lessons about life and letting my river carry me http://wp.me/p2D9hg-10

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Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

The metaphor of Seven Kittens

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In a previous post I shared how a live cam on Ustream of a stray cat and her kittens rescued by a woman in Pittsburgh, PA had caught the attention of the world. Thousands followed the escapade of Noodles and her kittens and shed tears as they grew up and went on to their permanent homes.

This may seem like a story reserved for cat lovers but I couldn’t help but notice a universal theme.

To review the scenario:

  • A woman takes pity on a stray, pregnant cat and takes her into her home.
  • Five weeks later the cat bears seven kittens.
  • Care and love are lavished with tremendous generosity on the cat and kittens.
  • One kitten is a tiny runt with no hair. He is so small that the chat community is concerned for him.
  • The mother cat is especially solicitous towards the runt. The community takes notice and falls in love with the runt and roots for him.
  • The cat and kittens thrive under the care they’re receiving and blossom into beautiful young cats, perfectly socialized and affectionate with humans.
  • Loki (Runty) at 8 weeks with the lucky lady he would soon go home with

    The runt especially blossoms, turning into a large, fluffy and sweet beauty.

  • The girls are gorgeous tortis, the boys lean and handsome gingers.
  • The adoptions go well and the kittens go home.

End of story. Or is it?

In the midst of a dark, chaotic and polarized world, a small international community grows around creatures given a home, love and care. The love is contagious and soon the community cares for the cat and kittens. And then people in community begin to care for each other.

It proves something I’ve suspected for a long time: love begets love.

from http://matthewpaulturner.net/jesus-needs-new-pr/the-light-is-for-you-a-post-inspired-by-rachelheldevans/

We are created to seek goodness, love and beauty. We long for light, not darkness, but we get pulled off course.

We seek happiness from the outside: from the glitzy, glamorous, sexy, exciting, unwholesome and even dangerous when it fact, it dwells within, simply and quietly, waiting for us.

In an ugly world the site of a cat and her kittens being so generously cared for is attractive and touches the heart. And it drew people in like a moth to a flame.

This wasn’t just a story about cats: this is about us.

One person took a chance fostering these kittens. She accepted the risk, laid out her money, gave of her time, and poured out her heart. Although many in the chat community are sad at the departure of the family, this person must feel especially drained and heartbroken.

Happily ever after

The story, however, has a happy ending. No one in the community could deny the miracle of the blossoming of these kittens (most especially the runt); it was the product of selfless love. The weak were taken in and made strong.

And no one could deny the friendships that grew within the community. When the kittens were quietly sleeping and out of sight, the conversations continued. People began to get to know each other. Even though posts were in many different languages, all converged around a single, unifying event.

Love begets love

from http://www.profkrg.com/nerd-note-each-other-vs-one-another

Love is oftentimes depicted in the scriptures as beginning small and growing big. The mustard seed grows into the huge tree. The five loaves and two fish feed 5000 people. The small bits of leaven make the bread rise.

And love given spontaneously to a stray cat and her kittens grows into an international community.

God, who is Love, is continuously at work in the world using any and all situations to communicate with us. Like so many of the mundane, everyday occurrences of our lives, these events teach us how to love and care for each other.

We just need the eyes to see.

Linked to stay in touch

So far, two Facebook pages have set up by the new owners:

Loki: https://www.facebook.com/SevenKittensLOKI

Cosmo: https://www.facebook.com/cosmo.swishermullins

Seven Kittens has a page too: https://www.facebook.com/TheSevenKittens

And you can watch highlights from the Ustream site: http://www.ustream.tv/sevenkittens

Click to Tweet & Share: What can seven kittens teach us about love, light and each other? Plenty! http://wp.me/p2D9hg-55

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Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

Beyond words

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possibly the last time nursing together – Noodles and her 7 kittens. Photo by JL Kramer, foster mother extraordinaire

Click to Tweet & Share: Beyond words–kittens nursing for the last time http://wp.me/p2D9hg-4K

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Kitty Scrapbook

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at 6 weeks – Noodles, at less than a year old, was a Supermom!

The response to the sevenkittens post from the other day was overwhelming! Noodles and her brood are truly an international phenom.

This weekend, the seven kittens (Taco, Hank, Ramon, Cosmo, Spooky, Venus and Loki) go home with their forever families. Noodles will be accompanying one of the boys. Everyone in the community is bidding a fond, and sad, farewell.

Real people in a viral world

On the surface it seems ridiculous to be so vested in a live cam of total strangers on the internet. But I am quickly discovering real people behind handle names like “babysmama” and “minty929,” and sometimes poignant stories of loss and healing.

It’s been a pleasure meeting you all!

Kitty scrapbook

It seemed appropriate to offer a scrapbook of pictures of the cats that belong to these wonderful people whose company I have shared during long summer days at a deadly quiet office (which will pick up with gusto come September).

And we can remember Noodles and her lovely family, happy, healthy, safe and very much loved by their new families.

And the Kramer household can slowly get back to normal. 🙂

Enjoy this virtual scrapbook!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Click to Tweet & Share: Missing Noodles & her brood? Come see the lucky cats owned by #sevenkittens community members http://wp.me/p2D9hg-3V

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Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion