My name is Susan Bailey and I find the life of Louisa May Alcott endlessly fascinating. I come from New England (specifically Massachusetts) and my family has been here in one form or another since the 1630′s. I live fairly close to Concord, MA where Orchard House, the homestead of the Alcotts, is located, and visit often. Every few years or so I go on a reading ‘binge’ about Louisa and this time around was so good, I just had to start a blog about my passion. The binge, by the way, still goes on!
I’ve been happily married for over 30 years and my husband is a deacon in the Melkite Church (Eastern Catholic – I am Roman Catholic). We are proud parents of a grown son and daughter.
I’ve worked happily for the last 17 years at Rutledge Properties in Wellesley, MA, supporting the agents in the office.
And in my ‘other life,’ I’ve performed, written and recorded music exploring my Catholic faith. I have a website (www.susanbailey.net) where you can hear samples and find out more about this. I sing at various masses at my home parish of St. Luke the Evangelist in Westboro, MA.
Other interests include history (especially photographic), nature (especially bird watching), and I have the same ‘inordinate love of cats’ that Louisa had. :-)
River of Grace: Creative Passages Through Difficult Times was my first book, written in 2015. In the book I reflect upon suffering in my life which included the deaths of my parents and the loss of my singing voice. By trusting in God even when I had no idea where He was leading me, I experienced transformation as a result of the creative power of grief.
River of Grace provides powerful personal stories of loss and grief along with creative ways to cope through trust and faith. It’s a book of hope during this difficult pandemic.
To give you a better idea of the nature of River of Grace, I invite you to watch/listen to a 40 minute presentation on the book which also includes some songs that amplify the meaning.
Where to order River of Grace
My publisher, Ave Maria Press, is holding a Labor Day Weekend sale — go to their website for 10% off the purchase price.
This is a wonderful app featuring all the music we hear in church. Music is a great way to bring the heart to prayer. I hope you enjoy the Great Catholic Music app, available for free from the IOS App Store and Google Play Apps.
If you would like your own copy of my Advent/Christmas album, Wait with Me: Advent of the Promised Son, visit my music page on this site.
This was a story that took on a life of its own — thinking up ways that we can consume less while giving more. When I was assigned this story from the Catholic Free Press, I had no idea how much my own thinking would be changed. Each of us can do our small part and together, make this a very special Christmas while at the same time, honoring what the season of Advent is all about.
Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).
River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.
I wanted to share with this story with you that appeared on the front page of this week’s Catholic Free Press for which I am pleased to be a correspondent. With all the negative press about priests, I wanted to present Father Bob as one of the good ones – a holy priest with a real heart for the Gospel message. He has learned so much from the people he has ministered to and I hope you will be blessed by his story.
Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).
River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.
My November, 2018 column in The Catholic Free Press.
Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19
I have not been a good caretaker of my body. While I did not abuse it with alcohol or drugs, I did neglect it. And as I enter my senior years, my body is whimpering to me with an assortment of aches and pains that reflect my neglect.
That neglect became entrenched over my lifetime, fed by discouragement and negativity (also known as sloth), convincing me that I could not lose weight nor keep my body in good physical condition. I pictured sloth as elephants sitting on my chest, preventing me from moving.
My run-down temple, which houses the God of the universe, was in need of restoration.
A few years ago, I got one elephant to move away but not due to my efforts alone. I needed the Holy Spirit to spur me on. I credit my weight loss of thirty pounds over the course of a year to one moment where I took the time to pray the rosary during adoration. In that moment, the Holy Spirit opened my eyes, inspired me with ideas and then gave me the strength to carry them out. That elephant is now banished from my temple.
One elephant remained and this one would prove to be most stubborn, until recently. Again, I credit the Holy Spirit with the change, but the beginning of that intercession was not so easy to pin down.
I had been praying for my husband to take care of his temple. Overeating, smoking and lack of exercise resulted in a diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes along with the beginning stages of COPD. My husband had three elephants that needed to be banished. It seemed impossible and it was, by human standards. Slowly however, they began to move on through the grace of God. The elephant of smoking moved first, chased away by a session of hypnosis. The result however was weight gain and spikes in blood sugar, in effect, strengthening the other two elephants. My husband was discouraged.
Patience and faithfulness to prayer won the day as my husband’s workplace opened up a gym and offered a personal trainer to employees for a fair price. Those elephants of his have been successfully banished; my husband now works out four days per week. He has lost weight, stabilized his blood sugar and feels energized. His temple is being restored.
I envied him; I wanted my last elephant to hit the road too! Because of shoulder and back problems, the only exercise I wanted to engage in was swimming. I had tried the local YMCA which has a beautiful but very popular (and crowded) pool. Being a slow swimmer, it was impossible to do laps with faster swimmers. A conversation with my hairdresser introduced me to the Whitin Community Center with not one but two pools, easing the overcrowding and allowing me the pleasure of swimming in open lanes. Twice per week I swim and pray the rosary, drinking in the many blessings. Slowly my temple is being restored. It will never be a totally fit place for God’s Spirit to dwell but now we are working together to make it a better dwelling place.
One might say all this was a coincidence for in the course of a few weeks, my husband and I had managed to throw off the sin of sloth and begin taking care of our bodies. I do not believe in coincidence however. These actions were too beautifully executed for them to be pure chance. God’s Holy Spirit, deigning to dwell in our run-down, beaten up, neglected temples, was waiting for the word from us to begin the restoration process. In some cases that word was given by praying for ourselves; in other cases, through intercessory prayer. But prayer along with desire to please God, was the key. While it takes little effort on our part to give that word, the patience needed to wait for the answer takes faith. That wait was rewarded.
I enjoy thinking back on how God’s grace has worked so brilliantly, showing yet again that all things are possible. We have to recognize that God’s vision is infinite while ours is limited. As we cannot see how our lives will work out, we must trust in God’s vision for He does see. And since He is all good, what can go wrong? In the end, all indeed will be well.
St. Teresa of Avila once said, “Christ has no body but yours, No hands, no feet on earth but yours.” A healthy body is needed to fulfill that directive. Taking good care of our temples makes that work possible.
Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available! Purchase here.
Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).
River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.
How can I describe a longing for God? The scriptures describe it as a deer “panting” for streams of water (Psalm 42). The dictionary defines panting as a longing with breathless or intense eagerness; to yearn. Synonyms for panting include an ache, a craving, a desire. Hunger. Thirst.
Longing has equivalents in music: The sound of an oboe playing the “Going Home” theme from the second movement of Dvorak’s New World Symphony. A trumpet playing taps over a grave. Monks chanting, their voices in perfect unison stretching out the notes like a violin, back and forth, the voices swelling and then pulling back. The final note sung, hanging in mid air until it fades away.
Longing can be a pleasant feeling as it is for something good. My longing increases when God grants me the ability to sense and feel His presence; it is pure gift. It’s like the glow after a glass of wine. It’s the lightheaded peace I feel when swimming, moving slowly through the water and then floating, letting my body go limp. It’s that leftover warmth I feel when I visit my special friend after we have shared laughter, hopes and dreams, thoughts about God and our lives, occasional tears, and the Eucharist.
Longing can also hurt. It pulls inside of me causing a painful sensation. It is loneliness when the wall between God and myself becomes hard and thick due to apathy, pride and sin. It’s a constant sensation, often in the background but lately, more in the forefront. There is no concrete feeling or thought associated with my longing that can be sufficiently expressed in words; I only know that I yearn for God’s presence.
Sometimes God is so close to me that I cannot perceive him. I feel empty inside, alone and afraid. Frequently I wake in the middle of the night and try to reach out to him and feel no consolation. Yet my scant knowledge of God reminds me that He is near. Often that has to be enough, just to believe.
A seed was planted this summer after the silent weekend retreat with the Trappist Monks at St. Joseph’s Abbey. A tiny seed of longing. The seed has not yet matured enough to poke through the ground so it needs a great deal of care. My Catholic faith has supplied me with what I need to nourish it: prayers, hymns, the Word, the liturgy, the Eucharist and the community. And new tools and reminders: Gregorian chant, looking up at the sky, and swimming at the local health club. Beautiful, simple and concrete reminders of that which is beyond words to describe.
As an antelope pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When may I come and appear in God’s presence?
Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available! Purchase here.
Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).
River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.
My latest Catholic Free Press column, September 14, 2018
I gave myself a birthday gift back in March by registering for a weekend silent retreat at St. Joseph’s Abbey in Spencer, MA. A month after, the blessings are still unfolding.
As an introvert, I seek solitude. I prefer a quiet rhythm in my life that allows me time to think. Stepping away from my noisy world, I knew that a weekend of silence would be a challenge. I never dreamed that my first reaction would be intense loneliness.
There were eight other women on the retreat but we were instructed not to speak in the hallways or during meals. I felt separated from them, and from God. I knew it was because I had no idea how to depend upon Him alone for companionship. My loneliness was akin to how I feel in the middle of the night when He seems farthest away and all my fears are magnified. Yet I know I have to rely on faith, not feeling, to tell me He is near, so near that I cannot perceive Him.
Silence forced me to confront the wall that separated me from God, creating the loneliness. The surface nature of my spiritual life sharpened in clarity; I could no longer ignore those persistent invitations from God to go deeper with him.
There was another feeling besides loneliness – that of oppression. It was not a negative feeling but rather one that further imposed the silence. It was the reaction I experienced each time I entered the massive abbey chapel. We were permitted to attend Vespers, Lauds, and to celebrate mass with the monks, sitting in the back half while they occupied the front. To my delight and surprise we were permitted to walk through their area to the altar to receive communion; I considered that to be a privilege.
If anything reduced me to silence it was being inside that chapel. The power of God’s presence was overwhelming. The mystery, the awe, the majesty. Words failed me yet I sensed that my prayer was deeper as a result.
The monks too were mysterious: What were their lives all about? How did they come to discern their vocation when it is the very antithesis of life in the world today? How could they pray the same sort of prayers day after day and keep it fresh? How strong was the temptation to feel boredom or contempt at the familiarity of the rituals? How did they transcend that familiarity? After years of praying in that magnificent chapel, did the monks still feel that oppressive sense of God’s presence? Or was it better than that?
Openness to grace was the answer; soon God would show me how.
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During the weekend we gathered to listen to Father Timothy share some teachings; time was provided as well for one-on-one spiritual counsel. It was after that counsel that I began to notice openings in the wall. While taking a walk around the magnificent grounds after an afternoon rain, I observed the clouds parting, allowing the clear blue sky to show through. I knew then it was an image provided by God, inviting me to remain open to His love. Now I can look at the sky every day and be reminded of that invitation.
This silent retreat was the best gift I could have given myself. I listen to Gregorian chant every day now to evoke memories of the monks in prayer. And the sky is a constant reminder of His call.
Silence no longer makes me feel lonely.
Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available! Purchase here.
Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).
River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.
In this blog post series, we’ll feature contributing authors from our new anthology, Alcott’s Imaginary Heroes: The Little Women Legacy. Today we’ll catch up with Susan Bailey, author, Louisa May Alcott devotee, and proud New Englander!
Contributor Susan Bailey cozies up with The Annotated Little Women in Massachusetts.
What is your favorite scene from Little Women?My favorite scene is when Beth runs over to thank Mr. Laurence, impulsively puts her arms around his neck and kisses him, and ends up sitting in his lap. I thought that took a lot of guts to do that! I am a typical Yankee (“frozen chosen” as they call us in New England) – quite reserved, especially when it comes to showing physical affection, and I know I would have been far too self-conscious to do what Beth did. She totally forgot herself in the spirit of love and gratitude towards…
Note: This article was originally published in the Catholic Free Press and Catholicmom.com. It was noticed by Spirit Catholic Radio and they called me for an interview! The interview appears at the end of this post.
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Our backyard is my little slice of paradise. After the loss of our above-ground pool a few years ago, we replaced it with a carefully planned patio. The space includes a lovely koi pond (without the fish), equipped with a fountain. Complementing the pond are plantings of yellow lilies and tall grass. A cherub statue, looking up as if pondering, sits on one of the rocks.
This is my place of prayer during the warmer months. On a loveseat next to the pond I spend twenty minutes each day at dawn saying my morning prayers and meditating on a hymn. I look forward to this time of quiet. Some nights I go out and brave the mosquitoes to meditate at the pond; the fountain’s LED light causes the water to sparkle.
A few weeks ago I felt a sudden impulse to add someone else to my pond – The Blessed Mother. Recalling a statue in the basement, I brought it up and placed it on a rock next to the cherub. I love gazing at her as the fountain sprinkles water down like rain around her. And at night, the LED light shines on her.
Mary and I have had an on-again, off-again relationship but it is certainly no fault of hers. I have spent a lot of time with Mary in prayer groups and in reading yet I could not seem to grasp in my head or or my heart how or why I should spend time with her. It took a small family crisis to answer that question and draw me back to her side.
A short while ago my son and I had a serious falling out. We fundamentally disagreed on an issue and could not find our way back to each other. It broke my heart. We had always been so close, sharing thoughts and dreams together. The day of after that falling out, I thought of Mary and fled to her side. I prayed by the pond both day and night, shedding tears and asking for her help.
Like her Son Jesus, Mary does not ask, “Where have you been? Why have you been ignoring me?” She does not pass judgment or make me feel guilty. She opens her arms and welcomes home her errant child. I felt no hesitation in turning to her. She is a mother; she knows.
Over the course of a month I turned to her daily. I even repositioned the statue so I could see it from my bedroom window. She is a constant reminder and a perfect reflection of that sweet and special love of the Father, Son and Spirit. A love freely given to me, and one I do not deserve. And yet I can accept it and that, to me, is one of the great mysteries of a relationship with the Omnipotent God. He has no reason to love me other than the fact that He is Love itself.
Mary, of course, heard my prayers and set to work, and in the end my son and I reconciled. That first phone call that set things right again was a balm on my heart, dispelling the grief and healing the wound. Mary had sent a sign signaling the change of heart, one which I was fortunate enough to recognize because she opened my eyes to see it.
She heard me. Even though I had turned my back on her in the past, she attended to my needs. All it took for me to reconcile with my son was a simple invitation; it was the same with Mary. With Jesus, she waits for any sign of turning around, of coming home. Like the Father to the Prodigal Son, she too rushes to my side.
That line from the Shakers hymn, “Simple Gifts,” says it perfectly: “To turn, turn, will be our delight; till by turning, turning, we come round right.”
Here is my interview on Spirit Catholic Radio –
click on the image to listen:
Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available! Purchase here.
Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).
River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.
Contributor Susan Bailey cozies up with The Annotated Little Women in Massachusetts.
