Living with deliberate intent: lessons from a loss and a blessing

donna marie downing anderson mdYesterday reminded me of how suddenly life can end. Rich and I attended the funeral of his cousin Donna who was killed suddenly in a car crash. Gone, just like that. She had just returned to Minnesota from Connecticut, having spent the weekend with her parents. Her mother was brought home from rehab after several weeks away; Donna and her sisters helped to settle their mother back into her routine.

Donna was a doctor, having first served in a pediatric practice for fifteen years, followed by time spent in an army hospital and then in clinics on Indian reservations. She was well aware of all that was going on with her parents and was able to contribute her expertise. She also contributed her special brand of humor and consolation to her mother, father and sisters. Donna was a healer who was very passionate about life. Her spirit was adventurous and free, her life lived with deliberate intent.

It therefore seemed exceedingly unfair that this woman in her prime should suddenly be taken from this life while traveling home from the airport after having called her mother to tell her she was “alright.” Unfair to her mother who is still quite frail. Unfair to her father, devastated at the loss of his little girl, the youngest of the sisters. Unfair to her sisters who depended upon Donna’s gift of life.

Like all of us who attended yesterday’s funeral, I was in need of consolation. Whenever I feel that need, I attend mass at Holy Family Parish in Worcester, MA. While I love my own parish of St. Luke the Evangelist in Westboro, there is something special about Holy Family; being there consoles me. It was where I received my healing of my singing voice. St. Luke’s former pastoral associate, Fr. Steven LaBaire, is pastor of this magnificent cathedral:

 

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This morning at mass, I saw something else that reminded me of the need to live with deliberate intent. I remembered clearly the first time I witnessed it; I wept openly because I was so moved. I now want to share it with you:

Father Steve is breaking the bread which Catholics believe is the body of Christ. He then takes a piece and drops it in the chalice containing the wine which is the blood of Christ.

This is what I mean by deliberate intent.

Notice how the ritual and each little motion is done slowly, reverently, with love. By the deliberate intent of his motions, Father Steve allows us time to contemplate the mystery of the bread and wine. The breaking of that bread reminds us of Christ’s broken body on the cross and the mingling of the body with the blood which Catholics then receive as the eucharist during communion.

Christ shares himself with us through such humble means as bread and wine and in the most intimate way possible: by entering our bodies as food. This is what Catholics believe; it is what I believe.

Father Steve demonstrates living with deliberate intent by the way he celebrates this ritual which he has done endless times but never without thought.

Donna lived with deliberate intent, chasing her passions for medicine, helping others and wildlife photography while never forgetting her family. I’m told by my mother-in-law that Donna called her mother three days each day to check in.

Now she is gone but she leaves behind a legacy, not just of her love or her good works or her beautiful pictures. She leaves behind a legacy of living life with deliberate intent.

Father Steve reminded me of that today in his celebration of the mass, the most sacred of rituals.

Do we think about what we are doing? Do we pour every bit of ourselves into the present moment or do we waste time living in the past or anticipating the future?

What is our intention as we life each day?

Obituary for Donna Marie  Downing Anderson, M. D.

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Spring finally arrives in New England! A virtual kayak trip for city dwellers

Many of you around the country endured a harsh winter (especially you in the Midwest). Endless snow. Frigid temperatures. Dreary dark and shortened days. Our winter here in New England was long and hard and spring has been slow to come.

But finally, Spring is here!

Some of you nature lovers are lucky enough to live in the suburbs or the countryside and can just step outside your door to drink in the warmth and greenery. You can open a window and hear a chorus of birds beginning at 4:30 am just when the darkness is starting to lift.

Some of you nature lovers however live in the city where it is harder to enjoy these things. I dedicate this kayak trip to you and hope you can soon get outside and enjoy the springtime weather.

My husband Rich and I kayaked on Lake Wildwood in Upton, MA:

1-lake2

Rich hoped he could catch some fish:

14-rich1

I took my camera out and hoped to catch the Spring:

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Birds were everywhere.

They are a lot harder to photograph, especially when they, and my boat (due to current and the wind) keep moving! But I managed to catch a couple:

Baltimore Oriole
Baltimore Oriole
Catbird
Catbird

The catbird sat among a spread of pretty yellow flowers:

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A painted turtle graciously posed for me:

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This is the joy of kayaking.

It allows you to sneak up on wildlife and enjoy them without disturbing them.

I also love water.

I love the colors, the texture, the sounds. The ripples and pools reflecting the underwater plants created a swirl of colors that reminded me of impressionist paintings:

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I hope you city dwellers enjoyed your virtual trip and may you get outdoors soon.  And you country dwellers: I hope you can get away from yard work long enough to enjoy these fleeting Spring days before the heat of summer sets in.

God’s country is beautiful, isn’t it?

Click to Tweet & ShareSpring finally arrives in New England! A virtual kayak trip for city dwellers http://wp.me/p2D9hg-GK

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May 18 Gospel reflection: Stepping outside of our pain

 

Today I have the honor of conducting my first communion service with the lovely residents of The Highlands in Westboro, MA. I used to be afraid to be with the elderly. Perhaps it reminded me too much of my own mortality which I was not ready to think about. Since my mother died 4 years ago I’ve thought about it a lot. Getting older means the body is gradually (or quickly) breaking down and you have to keep bidding farewell to parts of yourself. But it also means you’re one step closer to a life of eternal bliss with God.

Getting there however can be quite a challenge, coping with pain, loneliness and a litany of goodbyes. I’ve come to appreciate what the elderly go through and no longer feel afraid. I am looking forward to my time today with my new friends at The Highlands.

I am thankful to my parishSt. Luke the Evangelist and to our parish nurse, Julie Basque, for affording me this opportunity.

The communion service includes a reflection on today’s gospel which I thought I’d share with you

John 14:1-12

The discourse in John 14-17 between Jesus and his disciples is one of the most poignant in the entire Bible. Jesus, fully mindful of the dreadful suffering he would be facing, pours out his heart to the men who have been his closest friends. It was an intimate moment where he told them not to let their hearts be troubled even as his heart was troubled. He assures them of a place in heaven reserved especially for each of them. The human Jesus and the Divine Christ, present in this fixed time yet also present for eternity transcended his own inner turmoil to care for his beloved.

My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you

The Father is in the Son. The Son is the physical manifestation of the Father. The disciples have been seeing the Father all along and yet they didn’t get it. The Father has been speaking to them, caring for them, assuring them a place in heaven and yet they still don’t understand. It will take seeing Jesus resurrected for them to finally comprehend just who has been in their midst

As the Father is shown through the Son, so the Father is shown through us as well. We are made in the image of God, we are icons: windows into the heavenly Father. Because Jesus died and rose from the dead we too have the Divine in our humanity through the presence of God’s Holy Spirit.

In the midst of the turmoil of his own soul, Jesus sought to reassure his disciples. In the darkest moment of his life he still steps outside of himself and cares for his beloved friends. He never forgets us. Even dying on the cross, he does not forget, forgiving his tormentors, welcoming the thief into heaven and arranging for the care of his mother with John. It is in this care for others in Jesus’ darkest hour that shows the Father to the disciples and to the world.

Ponder

How can we call upon the Divine within us to step outside of ourselves even in our darkest hour and care for those around us?

Pray

Jesus, may I never forget you in my darkest hour. May I never let the wall of my pain shut you out. Help me to show the Father to those around me at all times. Amen

Click to Tweet & Share: May 18 Gospel reflection: Stepping outside of our pain http://wp.me/p2D9hg-Ev

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Join our new book club discussion beginning Sunday, May 18 on a New York Times bestseller

jesus a pilgrimage book club

Have you been reading this book and saying to yourself, “This is such a great book and I’m dying to talk about it with someone!” ? Well, we may have just the thing for you!

Catholicmom.com is forming a virtual book club to discuss, chapter by chapter. Fr. James Martin, SJ’s bestselling new book, Jesus: A Pilgrimage. A team of three writers, Lisa Hendey (Catholicmom founder), Sarah Reinhart (Catholicmom editor) and myself will be providing short summaries of each chapter with through-provoking questions to spark lively discussion.

Even if you haven’t read the book yet but are interested in learning more about the human and Divine Jesus, you are more than welcome to join us. Simply visit the Jesus Book Club page to sign up so you can receive an email reminder each week of the next chapter being discussed.

Father Martin has provided this introductory video explaining the nature of his book:

We hope that you will join us  at our Jesus Book Club this Sunday, May 18 for the first installment. We promise a grand ole time!

Click to Tweet & ShareBook club discussion beginning Sun May 18 on NYT bestseller Jesus A Pilgrimage by Fr. James Martin http://wp.me/p2D9hg-FV @LisaHendey

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Spring Migration Mini Fall-Out! Exotic songbirds in my own backyard

For the past 26 years I have lived in central Massachusetts. A bird watcher, I have sought in vain to find that “sweet spot” where the spring migrants congregate. I need not search any longer: I live in that sweet spot!

Two years ago, across the street from my house, I experienced what experienced birders long for: a fall-out. A fall-out is when large quantities of warblers of many varieties descend on a particular area – they literally “fall out” of the sky. This happens when a cold front blocks the migrants and then a sudden warm front ushers them in. People that bird watch regularly may experienced this phenomenon a few time in their lives; those of us that do it “on the fly” may never experience it. During this fall-out, I saw over a dozen different varieties of beautiful warblers, all singing. It was paradise!

This morning I awoke to a small chorus outside my bedroom window so I ran outside to take a look. This is what I heard and/or saw:

8 warblers

  • Yellow Rumped Warbler (1st row, 1)
  • Yellow Warbler (1st row, 2)
  • White-eyed Vireo (1st row, 3)
  • Northern Parula Warbler (1st row, 4)
  • Rose-Breasted Grosbeak (2nd row, 1)
  • Black Throated Green Warbler (2nd row, 2)
  • Chestnut Sided Warbler (2nd row, 3)
  • Black and White Warbler (2nd row, 4)

Considering that I live on the railroad tracks at the intersection of Route 140, this is a pretty good sighting! My mother always did say we lived in a fly zone (where birds tend to congregate).

jesus a pilgrimageLast night Fr. James Martin, SJ, author of the new bestseller Jesus A Pilgrimage, offered the following evening meditation:

“How curious are you about the world around us, about God’s magnificent creation? Are you as curious as you were whe you were a kid? The world is just as beautiful, mysterious and surprising as it was when you were little.

Think of something that captivated you today by its beauty or strangeness or mystery. Then thank God for the ability to be amazed.” (from his Facebook post of May 13, 201)

Yes, I am amazed. Amazed how You graced me with this fall-out of exotic songbirds into my humble backyard.  Amazed at how You keep sending me gifts unsolicited, just because You love to shower Your children with love Amazed at how blind I can be to the constant stream of such gifts.

It occurs to me as I am writing this that this is also a gift of consolation. I have a series of disagreeable doctor visits coming up, starting today. Nothing dire, just things that need attention and that could be painful. And I am a chicken! Now I can remember the beautiful songbirds God graced me with this morning to cheer me during these visits.

Thank you. You are always with me.

Lord, keep my eyes and ears open today and everyday for the gifts You send me. Amen.

Do you enjoy bird watching? Have you ever experienced a fall-out? What did you see?

Click to Tweet & ShareSpring Migration Mini Fall-Out! Exotic songbirds in my own backyard http://wp.me/p2D9hg-Fp

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No longer a daughter but blessed to be a mother – Happy Mother’s Day

mommy walnut hill yearbookMother’s Day has been problematic since my mother died. I am sure other daughters who have known a close with their mothers experience that special tinge of melancholy that greets this day.

We are no longer daughters. But we are still mothers even if we don’t have children of our own. There are “children” in our lives from our nieces and nephews to friends in the neighborhood or students at school if you are a teacher. Many of you likely mother pets as well.

Mother and daughter
Mother and daughter

I am blessed to have two grown children of my own. This year my daughter Meredith gave me a gift that will assure that this holiday will have sweet memories along with the bitter. For every pang of grief I feel at missing my mother I can reflect upon the beautiful memories Meredith gave to me this mother’s day simply by giving of herself.

She took me yesterday to Mount Auburn cemetery in Cambridge, MA, just a short drive from her home. Serious birders from around the world know the reputation of this cemetery as being a mecca for the observation of the spring migration. Dozens of species of beautiful songbirds, most of them warblers, spend a couple of weeks at this picturesque and historic cemetery before moving northward to build their nests. The cemetery has trees and flowering bushes from all around the world; a perfect haven in the middle of the city for these migrants.

mt auburn 05-2011Birders have flocked to this cemetery since its inception; our family did as well ever since I was a little girl. It was our way of celebrating Mother’s Day since it was my mother who passed along her love of birding to the rest of us.

Meredith had never expressed any interest in birds but she is the keeper of the flame when it comes to family tradition. Rooted deeply within her, it prompted this special invitation to enjoy the birds, flora and fauna together.

Although we arrived at mid-morning, there were still plenty of birds to spot (experienced birders usually come at the crack of dawn). We saw or heard several warblers including the Tennessee, Yellow Rumped, Black Throated Blue, American Redstart and the Ovenbird. We also heard or saw the Warbling Vireo (heard) and the Scarlet Tanager (saw, thankfully). We saw and heard a small flock of Baltimore Orioles.

tennessee yellow rumped black throated blue redstart ovenbird

We lucked upon a robin’s nest at eye’s view full of babies. There were several turtles at Willow Pond sunning themselves including a baby on top of its mother. There was a turkey nestled on top of a mausoleum tucked into the hillside of the Dell; we think she may have been sitting on a nest for she was very still.

A Tom Turkey, all fluffed and fanned out, strut his stuff in front of three females. He was fat and haughty-looking and the ladies paid him no mind at all.

turkeys

We also took the time to look at the stones. As I suspected, Meredith found them fascinating. She does not find death to be morbid. She is blessed in that way (and in many ways). We read many of the fascinating stories on the stones and kidded around about how only the “rich and famous” (or as I said, the rich and historical) were buried here. She appreciated the scenery and took many pictures.

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Meredith has inherited my mother’s thoughtfulness. Her gifts to me get better and better each time. This latest one took some effort and sacrifice but not as much as I would have thought; she enjoyed our excursion as much as I did and kept mentioning that she and her boyfriend should take walks there. She was interested in looking at birds, fed by her appreciation of the family tradition. It has become sacred to her as it has been to me. To share that appreciation together was the greatest gift of all.

Since she has been living on her own, our relationship has changed. We have more in common now that we are both keeping house. Now that there is some distance between us both in time and place, there is a renewed closeness. The card she gave me for Mother’s Day was most indicative of that. It was a serious card, not overly sweet but very meaningful. It stated in a factual way the way she felt about me and I will treasure it always. I half-expected a joke when I opened the inside because she loves a good laugh and when I mentioned that to her boyfriend, he chuckled with understanding.

There is no greater gift than the gift of oneself. The time and effort that Meredith put into this year’s gift will not be forgotten. She is merely carrying on the tradition of my own mother who also gave of herself in such wonderful ways.

p.s. I also have a wonderful son who just left me a touching and funny tribute on Facebook. Thanks Stephen, you’re the best!

I hope that all of you have a Happy Mother’s Day too!

Click to Tweet & ShareNo longer a daughter but blessed to be a mother – Happy Mother’s Day http://wp.me/p2D9hg-F9

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Pressing the flesh: 60 Kitten Cammers meet for the first time

Dispelling the notion that virtual friendships are not real, sixty fans of The Critter Room kitten cam are gathering this weekend at Purrfect Pals in Arlington, WA to meet for the first time. Many were local but some came from as far away as Boston and even Australia. They organized the first annual Kitten Cam Con.

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Kitty-Cam-Launches-A-Cat-Convention-258698351.html?mobile=y
http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Kitty-Cam-Launches-A-Cat-Convention-258698351.html?mobile=y

Having been a part of close virtual communities in the past (associated with my music), I can tell you that meeting people you have been corresponding with online is akin to meeting someone famous. There’s that moment of awkwardness when the veil of technology is lifted and you can actually look at, speak with, and hug, that dear friend you have been confiding in for so long. The level of intimacy changes and you are now pressing the flesh. It’s an exhilarating feeling.

I imagine there was a lot of squealing with glee, tears, laughter and hugs as these sixty representatives of the over forty thousand that follow The Critter Room fulfilled their dream of meeting their friends.

http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Kitty-Cam-Launches-A-Cat-Convention-258698351.html?mobile=y
http://www.komonews.com/news/local/Kitty-Cam-Launches-A-Cat-Convention-258698351.html?mobile=y

Virtual friendships are not new. Before chat rooms and emails there was letter writing. How many of us had pen pals from far away as kids? I had a German pen pal, one from a neighboring state and another from Hawaii. I only got to see the Hawaiian friend and each time it was glorious moving from the written word to hugs and kisses.

I commend and envy all of you at the Kitten Cam Con and am with you in spirit. I hope someday I can meet some of you.

The Average Joe Cat Show (where you can vote for your favorite cat online for a small donation) is taking place at Purrfect Pals as well. These are certainly innovative folks! No wonder they haven’t had to buy any kitten food the last two years (as stated by the executive director of Purrfect Pals).

This is the power of community. Kudos!

PHOTO BY LINDSEY WASSON  THE SEATTLE TIMES David Clem holds Tory, one of two cats he and wife, LuAnn Smith, adopted after John Bartlett, right, fostered the kitten and its mom and siblings. Clem and Smith saw Tory and her brother Grant on Bartlett's Foster Kitten Cam, which has more than 40,000 followers.
PHOTO BY LINDSEY WASSON THE SEATTLE TIMES
David Clem holds Tory, one of two cats he and wife, LuAnn Smith, adopted after John Bartlett, right, fostered the kitten and its mom and siblings. Clem and Smith saw Tory and her brother Grant on Bartlett’s Foster Kitten Cam, which has more than 40,000 followers.

The local press took notice of the event and posted two wonderful articles about the Kitten Cam Con and all the wonderful work done by Foster Dad John. If you can’t be there, these are the next best thing:

Bothell kitten cam goes viral, watchers gather for own convention – The Seattle Times

Popular kitty cam launches a cat convention – KOMO News – you can watch the telecast and read the article

On to the next litter, coming soon …

Click to Tweet & SharePressing the flesh: 60 Kitten Cammers meet for the first time http://wp.me/p2D9hg-EX

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My unexpected miracle healing (part three): healing inside and out

Holy Family Parish from www.flickr.com
Holy Family Parish from http://www.flickr.com

When I walked out of Holy Family church that Sunday after having my throat blessed (see previous post), I had no idea what to expect. Over the past four years I had come to accept that my loss of voice was permanent.

That loss became a part of who I am.

Yet the blessing moved me, especially when Fr. Steve said my name. I cried while leaving the church, surprised yet again at the depth of my grief. I still missed my voice, but I did not miss the old life that was attached to that voice. I had moved on to a new life, beyond music into writing, a life of creativity that was new, exciting and fulfilling. Music, on the other hand, was old and stale and I thought, dead.

God had other ideas.

My son the musician
My son the musician

A few days after the blessing my son, also a musician (see previous post) texted me about the songs I had written when I was his age. I had a large catalog, all recorded on cassette tapes. He wanted me to digitize the collection and send it to him via the computer.

I am in my late fifties; these songs were written when I was in high school, college and young adulthood. They were often autobiographical in nature and full of the angst of youth. I cringed at the thought of even listening to them. But he urged me on saying, “Mom, it’s your legacy!” How could I resist?

Through this intermediary, the healing began.

joni mitchell blueI listened to the songs before digitizing them and found that they weren’t so bad after all. The exercise awoke old memories of why I had loved music in the first place. It reminded me of the wonder of listening to Joni Mitchell’s classic “Blue” and how her lyrics had pierced my soul. Mitchell was the icon of confessional singer/songwriters and I crafted my songs after her model.

I began to see a thread of connection between the lyrics I wrote forty years ago, the writing I used to do as a kid and the writing that I am doing now and realized that in fact, I had always been a writer at heart.

The pieces of the puzzle of my creative life started to come together.

from tap4him.blogspot.com
from tap4him.blogspot.com

It acted as a soothing balm. I began to put my arms around my creativity as if to say, “Welcome home.”

For years I had been pushing music away because it hurt too much to be near it. I had not only lost my voice but my soul as a musician. Thanks to that blessing, and my son, I found my way back to the self that had gone astray.

Entering Holy Family church two weeks later for mass, it struck me like a thunderbolt: I had been healed! I couldn’t wait to tell Father Steve. All during the mass my heart overflowed with gratitude. I understood for the first time the many layers of healing.

God heals the whole person, not just the symptoms. He heals us from the inside out.

from pastorblog.cumcdebary.org
from pastorblog.cumcdebary.org

When the paralytic man was lowered down from the ceiling by his four friends as told in Mark 2:1-12, Jesus first forgave his sins. He healed the inner man because He sensed this was the healing most needed. In ancient times, sin was thought to be the reason for physical troubles. Jesus relieved this man of that burden: the paralysis was not his fault. He then healed him physically.

He did that for me too.

I was free from the emotional paralysis that had locked away my love of music. All the grief, all the anger melted away. Even though my singing voice was not restored I felt whole again. I was back to being fifteen, playing the guitar and pouring my heart into my very first composition.

But the healing was not complete.

In the weeks that followed I began to notice that it became easier to sing the hymns during mass (see previous post). Although my throat still hurt when I sang, the notes were coming out stronger and clearer, like they used to.

Each week when I went to mass, I pushed myself a little more each time. It began to feel good to sing again. One week I took the long way home after mass so I could test my voice on some of the most challenging songs of my repertoire.

folk_guitarWhen I got home I belted out “Amazing Grace” just as I had recorded it and scared the cat with the volume! Buoyed, I pulled out my guitar and sang song after song. Yes, yes, I could sing again!

This the recording I had made a few years ago of “Amazing Grace:”

I could sing again. The healing was complete.

Now I knew how the sick felt when they were healed by the touch of the Master’s hand. Deep gratitude brimming over. An overwhelming desire to do a happy dance! The urge to rush out into the street and shout to the neighbors, “I’ve been healed!”

Another urge overtook me: the need to visit my church and kneel in front of the tabernacle to say thanks. I did that a few times, just pulling off the road for a moment to go into the church, kneel there and caress the tabernacle where the body of Christ resides in the form of bread and just saying over and over:

“Thank you. Thank you.”

There is still the acid reflux to deal with and I have to take care that I don’t strain my newfound voice as the stamina is not what it was. I won’t be singing in public except on rare occasions. Music is now a private affair with writing taking center stage.

But I can sing to God with a new voice. I can pray the way I love best.

How has God healed you? What is your healing story?

My unexpected miracle healing (part one)

My unexpected miracle healing (part two): openness to God’s way

Click to Tweet & Share: My unexpected miracle healing (part three): healing inside and out http://wp.me/p2D9hg-E8

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There is such a thing as happily ever after – The Critter Room: a microcosm of a perfect world

In a previous post I shared about a special community of lovers, one that revolved around a foster dad, a homeless pregnant cat dubbed Janine and her three kittens, Egon, Ray and Peter (known as the Ghostbuster kittens). I wrote about how this community pulled together in the wake of the loss of sweet Peter at only four days old. I shared about the generosity and daring of a man who spends so much time caring for God’s creatures.

640 ghostbusters cropped

Yesterday was adoption day for the Ghostbusters.

It was a storybook ending, the one many of us had hoped and prayed for. It proved yet again there is such a thing as “happily ever after.”

Many joyful tears were shed when the following graphic appeared on the live kitten cam broadcast:

adoption status

Peter had been included among the adopted and here’s why:

“Janine, Ray, & Egon are being adopted together and Peter’s adoption fee was donated by an anonymous viewer in California. Peter’s tag will be mailed to them. Janine’s adoption fee was donated by a viewer in Vancouver, BC.
Happy tears all around!” from a post by Foster Dad John on The Critter Room

It showed me there can indeed be a perfect world.

The Critter Room community is a microcosm of a perfect world. This does not mean that things don’t go wrong. The Critter Room cam is after all an unedited slice of real life and nature will take her course. But when things do go wrong, the love, thoughtfulness and generosity of the community rights those wrongs.

We can’t get back what we lost. But we can be healed, even transformed. We can move on, taking our fresh tears and loving memories with us, into a new reality of renewed hope. We can share that hope outside of The Critter Room; we can rock our world.

Little communities such as The Critter Room show that if we as a people can unite in love and caring for the least of these, our bigger world will be a better place. That caring comes one at a time: one kitten, one mama, one family, one community.

from https://www.facebook.com/TheCritterRoom
from https://www.facebook.com/TheCritterRoom

Caring begins with the one and multiplies like a stone thrown into a pond, creating a ripple effect. That ripple effect is evident in this community from the friendship shown in the chat room, to the beautiful fan art, to the generous donations made to shelters, to the adopters willing to take on multiple fosters and finally, to the numerous new foster moms and dads who have taken in their own families in honor of what is done in The Critter Room.

What one will you care for today? Warning: this could rock your world!

Now a trip down memory lane thanks to videos provided by BrookIvy2 on Youtube:

Ray Traps Himself

“Sometimes when you hold a kitten, it’s hard to put them down. Really, they won’t leave!”

Ghostbusters Wrap-up

Congratulations and many thanks to CatlessNoMore, the adopter (the “hoomin”) of the Ghostbusters!

Click to Tweet & Share: Such a thing as “happily ever after?” The Critter Room: a microcosm of a perfect world http://wp.me/p2D9hg-DV @TheCritterRoom

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My unexpected miracle healing (part two): openness to God’s way

Did you know that blessings multiply? If you are familiar with the story of the multiplication of the loaves and fishes then you know that when Jesus blessed the five loaves and two fishes, they multiplied enough to feed five thousand people.

Beginning with St. Blaise

from http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=28
from http://www.catholic.org/saints/saint.php?saint_id=28

This is how I would characterize my miracle healing. It began with a visit to church on the feast of St. Blaise where I received a blessing on my throat (see previous post for more on St, Blaise).

I entered the line out of habit. The wait was long because the priest chose to do the blessings himself. Fr. Stephen LaBaire, pastor of Holy Family Parish in Worcester takes his liturgical responsibilities seriously, loving every ritual with fidelity and reverence. Each throat blessed received his utmost attention.

Desire for healing?

As I waited, I wondered why I was there. Did I believe in healing? Did I even want a healing? You may ask why someone might not desire a healing but when you get accustomed to being a certain way, change is hard to imagine. I was used to my voice being gone. I had accepted it.

Still, I remained in line, deciding it couldn’t hurt. I left the door open for possibilities, for anything God wished to give me.

Unfolding of a blessing

After receiving the blessing, I left the church in tears. What could possibly come of this? A few days later, the blessing began to unfold.

It began with an emotional healing.

Loss not private

When I initially lost my voice, I thought I could mourn in private. I could resign from music ministry at my parish and that would be the end of it. I was wrong. My singing was not a private, individual affair. I had shared it with a community and my loss impacted people. There were the other musicians who had to pick up the slack when I resigned. And there were the people who had enjoyed my singing. I should have been grateful for the many kind inquiries and offers of concern but instead I found it to be an intrusion. I didn’t want to accept my loss and thus I pushed music away from me. The inquiries and offers of concern pushed it right back at me. I couldn’t get away from my pain.

Thomas and his loss

It made me think of Thomas. Poor doubting Thomas. He was the one disciple who was not there when Jesus appeared to the apostles after the resurrection. Filled with joy to overflowing, they told Thomas they had seen the Lord and he would not believe. Hidden in a locked room out of fear, Thomas hid from his pain as well. It hurt too much to face it; thus he pushed away any semblance of hope that Jesus had risen. Just as I had pushed away any connection, any reminder of my music: it hurt too much. Healing through the wounds Thomas demanded to touch Jesus’ wounds. It was the only way he would believe.

The Incredulity of Saint Thomas by Caravaggio
The Incredulity of Saint Thomas by Caravaggio

A beautiful homily given by a newly ordained priest celebrating his first mass described what Jesus did for Thomas in response to his demands:

“‘Put your finger here and see my hands. Bring your hand and put it into my side. Hide yourself in me. Hide yourself from all that troubles you, from all you doubt, from all you fear. Hide yourself in a love more penetrating than a brush fire, more overwhelming than a deluge. Hide yourself in a love that will remake you entirely. Do not be afraid.’ Jesus invites Thomas to literally enter into his wounds of love, to pass so deeply into the reality of love incarnate as to move within it. To physically put himself into our Lord’s resurrected body, unconquered by everything that would seek to destroy love, to put to death all that smothered God’s life within him. To touch resurrection, to touch eternity. To hide himself in Christ’s love forever. But not to hide Christ’s love from the world. Not to remain behind locked doors. Not to continue in sadness and fear. Jesus fills Thomas with a love so transforming that he can proclaim without fear, without doubt, ‘My Lord and My God.’” Rev. Patrick E. Reidy, C.S.C., Basilica of the Sacred Heart, University of Notre Dame, April 27, 2014

Transformation through healing

Jesus transformed Thomas; he changed him from a man filled with fear, sadness and bitterness to a man who proclaimed his love for Jesus boldly throughout the world. He healed Thomas and Thomas embraced him. He healed me in the same way. Once at war with myself over the loss of my voice, I learned again to love music, to re-embrace my gift and to learn to use it in a new way.

Openness to God’s way

In the next post I will tell you how Jesus healed me. Like the loaves and fishes, it was a blessing that multiplied over and over. Remember when Jesus told the disciples to lower the net for another catch even though they had worked hard all night and caught nothing? The net was filled to overflowing.

That’s what happens when you leave the door open, just a bit, and let God have his way.

Rev. Patrick Reidy C.S.C.
Rev. Patrick Reidy C.S.C.

I highly recommend listening to the entire homily given by Fr. Reidy. You can download the video from iTunes; about 27 minutes in, you can hear his homily.

Click to Tweet & Share: My unexpected miracle healing (part two): openness to God’s way http://wp.me/p2D9hg-DO

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