All the comforts of home

It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way back where
I come from
It feels like home to me
It feels like home to me
Feels like I’m all the way back where I belong

Chantal Kreviazuk

This was the song (sung by Linda Ronstadt) that played in my head when I attended St. Elizabeth of Hungary church in Seabrook, NH for mass while on vacation at Hampton Beach. It was the same song that had come to mind years ago when a friend said she felt at home after I had invited her to a recitation of the rosary at our parish.

“Familiarity breeds contempt.”

This common saying plays out over and over when I attend mass, whether it’s hearing 1 Corinthians 13 proclaimed for the umpteenth time, or witnessing the bread and wine blessed and broken before communion. I always feel guilty when that contempt creeps into my worship but it’s hard to ignore. Repetition does that. I can only imagine how the priest must feel with that temptation to tune out because the words and rituals are so familiar.

Copyright 2009 Carmen Zuniga. Via Flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0

Being away from all that was familiar taught me that such sameness has an upside; one that I need to recall whenever the temptation to tune out comes to mind.

At home while away

A change of scenery is a healthy thing in that it refreshes the spirit; one is relieved of the monotony of the daily routine. Yet, at the same time, there is that feeling of being at home, that comfort and security of familiarity that I miss when I’m away. One of the reasons why I loved our motel room was because it had a full kitchen making it possible to enjoy the pleasant aspects of our morning routine. The motel was nestled in a neighborhood so that when I went outside, I saw homes rather than tourist attractions. I talked to the neighbors. I felt like I belonged there.

I had that same feeling of security and comfort upon entering St. Elizabeth’s. It was one of the highlights of the vacation for me to worship there. I even recognized the same lector and cantor from the previous year when we had attended. It made me smile.

The Church as home

Copyright 2011 Dave Emerson. Via Flickr, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

This is the beauty of the Catholic Church to me. No matter where you are in the world, no matter what church you enter, you will have the mass. The language may be foreign and the hymns unfamiliar, but the Word of God is still proclaimed. I can still receive the Holy Eucharist. The congregation is there to worship the one God.  I can count on that routine and participate as if I were in my home parish. I have an immediate connection to the community.

In its wisdom the Church established such rituals and routines not to add a burden but rather, to address our needs. Those familiar hymns and readings along with the Eucharist deepen the beauty of a wedding and offer comfort during the funeral mass. Notice that when Jesus taught the people, he used common everyday moments and elements in his parables; those who were truly listening would connect those concrete symbols to the deeper spiritual meaning. Our Lord understood how the familiar can open up the heart and soul to his message of love.

Coming prepared

It is these things I will remember the next time I am tempted to tune out at the liturgy because I am hearing 1 Corinthians 13 yet again. To remain mindful of that temptation, I will need to prepare beforehand by asking God to open my heart and keep it supple. Then perhaps I will know enough to whisper a quick prayer to the Holy Spirit as I enter the church so that I can be enveloped in the beauty of those familiar words and rituals.

Here is “Feels Like Home to Me” sung by Linda Ronstadt. Listen and think about the Masses you’ve attended while away from home. How did you feel?

From the Catholic Free Press, August 11, 2017, and Catholicmom.com.

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Healing begins with knowledge: understanding the emotional impact of IC

JUNE 29, 2016 – Last week I wrote about dejection; today it’s anxiety. This current season of feelings, beginning with extreme aggravation, moving towards dejection and now morphing into anxiety has me quite puzzled. After this past weekend I needed to step back and try to understand just what was going on,

Last week I anticipated a wonderful weekend away with my husband at Hampton Beach, NH. I looked forward to the carnival atmosphere, the gorgeous pristine beaches along Route 1A, the shops and restaurants, and finally, the Happy Together Tour featuring singers and bands of the 1960s (The Turtles, The Cowsills, Mark Lindsay, Billy J. Kramer, Chuck Negron and Gary Puckett).

hamptonbeach

Happy-Together-Cover

The weather was perfection – upper 70s with a refreshing onshore wind. My husband and I have needed this time together after the last hectic few months.

And yet during the trip I was overcome with anxiety. Why?

I have continued to ask God for healing as I pray for friends and family as I sensed I needed those prayers. Just as the book lifted me up and out of myself, prayers for healing uncovered information that related directly to my anxiety. It came from a most unexpected source.

I am researching a biography at the moment and have several years’ worth of notes. They need organizing so today I attended to that.  In the course of the task, I came across an article called “The Psychological Effects of IC.”

ICJust what is IC? Short for Interstital Cystitis, IC is a painful and chronic urinary condition. When paired with Overactive Bladder (which I also have) sufferers experience sudden urges to urinate. If you are not near a bathroom, it can be an excruciating experience both physically and emotionally. It can be quite embarrassing as well. Over time you are conditioned to place the needs of your bladder above all else. I go nowhere now without immediately scouting out bathrooms.

It took years to have this condition diagnosed. Heck, it took years to get a doctor to take my complaints seriously! I took meditation for the Overactive Bladder but it did nothing for the IC. Over time I learned what foods to avoid. The discovery of AZO products (especially Bladder Control Go Less) finally began to bring my IC under control, at least during the daytime. Nighttime is another story (and for another day).

What I have discovered about IC is that it is triggered by stress and anxiety. Going away from home is a sure-fire way to trigger it. If you are not sure where the next bathroom is, you are going to obsess over finding one. Such stress triggers flare ups and before you know it, you’re in a vicious cycle.

What I did not know, however, was that there are long term emotional consequences, something I had begun to suspect after coming home from our weekend. The article I stumbled upon today confirmed that suspicion:

“Although IC is a physiological disease, the effects are emotional. The pain of IC automatically induces an emotional response … The messages from the bladder pain can make a patient feel upset, emotional and depressed as a result.”

In my case, it’s panic. And that’s what I kept experiencing in the lovely yet unfamiliar setting of Hampton Beach, NH. That, and hyper-vigilance:

“IC patients may be seen as emotionally laden victims of a traumatic experience demonstrating hyper-vigilant behavior (the need to be on guard against harm), instead of a person in need of medication to calm the unsettling symptoms of interstitial cystitis.”

This may sound a bit dramatic but the fact it that it is true. This article described my experience to perfection. There was more:

“IC is a daily responsibility … it is not a situational stress that will resolve in time. And, even though most of us build a certain amount of tolerance to the everyday bladder sensitivity (not the painful flare-ups), we still have to place our bladder needs first.”

The world with IC can become very small. And, problems can seem too big to overcome. Sometimes the limitations can make us feel stuck, sometimes with no hope for the future.”

anxietyMy world has definitely shrunk as demonstrated by the tremendous anxiety I experience whenever I have to go away. I am a confirmed homebody—no trip to Europe for me. I chaperone confirmation retreats twice yearly and each weekend is a constant struggle with anxiety-induced obsessive and compulsive tendencies that interfere with my work on the retreat. Finally I have a better understanding of WHY.

I reflected a bit before sharing this blog post. IC and Overactive Bladder are hardly things spoken about freely in polite company. I don’t even know anyone who has it though I know it’s common. So why share this with you?

  • First of all, because someone out there might also be a sufferer and perhaps, this information can be helpful to them.
  • Secondly, to show that healing that comes through God’s grace is more often revealed in steps rather than granted miraculously. But just because a healing unfolds rather than effects an instant cure doesn’t make it any less miraculous in my mind.

I am convinced that because I approached God in prayer for healing (even though I didn’t specify what the healing ought to be) that he gave me the mindfulness to pay attention to this article when I found it.

We’re told that knowledge is half the battle. I believe that. This knowledge has given me great relief.

  • I’m not going crazy.
  • There is a reasonable explanation.
  • Now I know what to ask for in prayer for my healing.

This wave of anxiety will, in fact, pass. And when I feel it return, I know where to go and Who to ask when I need help.

p.s. Those of you suffering from Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – there is something for you in “The Psychological Effects of IC.” Something tells me we have walked down a similar path.

 

 

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Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion