Grief – Be as One

Simple Mindfulness Tips Every Caregiver Can Use to Find Calm Daily

Published on April 30, 2026 by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

Busy parents juggling work, caregiving, and family schedules often crave calm but feel blocked by mindfulness integration challenges that make self-care seem like one more task. When days are packed and emotions run high, even good intentions can collapse into autopilot, and family stress management turns into constant reacting instead of steady guiding. Mindfulness doesn’t require a quiet hour or a perfect routine; it starts with small shifts that respect real life and protect energy. With consistent, realistic caregiver self-care practices, caregivers can access daily mindfulness benefits that ripple through the whole home.

Quick Summary: Daily Calm Practices for Caregivers

Practice gratitude journaling to shift attention toward what is going well each day.
Practice mindful breathing exercises to settle your nervous system in a few focused moments.
Practice mindful eating habits to slow down, notice flavors, and feel more present.
Practice body scan meditation to release tension by gently checking in from head to toe.
Practice digital detox mindfulness to reduce mental noise by taking simple breaks from screens.

What Mindfulness Really Means for Caregivers

Mindfulness is the simple skill of paying attention to what’s happening right now in your body, thoughts, and surroundings. It also includes meeting the moment without judgment, even when the moment is messy.

This matters because caregiving can pull you into worry about what’s next or replaying what went wrong. Mindfulness gives your mind a steady place to return to, which can support mental health and reduce reactivity at home. Over time, it can also become a quiet spiritual practice of noticing, gratitude, and compassion.

Imagine your child melts down and you feel your chest tighten. Mindfulness is the pause where you name what’s true, soften your shoulders, and choose your tone. It turns autopilot into a gentle, intentional response.

Daily and Weekly Mindfulness Habits for Caregivers

Habits matter because caregiving days are unpredictable, and consistency is what trains your nervous system to return to steadiness. Practiced gently, these routines support family wellness while also creating quiet moments for spiritual growth through gratitude, compassion, and presence.

Two-Minute Gratitude Journal

What it is: Write three specific moments you appreciated today, even tiny ones.
How often: Daily, before bed.
Why it helps: It trains your mind to notice goodness alongside stress.

Breath-Count Reset

What it is: Do six slow breaths, counting each exhale down from six.
How often: Daily, plus anytime you feel activated.
Why it helps: Mindfulness switches your focus from spirals to the present.

One-Task Mindful Meal

What it is: Take the first five bites in silence, chewing slowly.
How often: Daily or three times weekly.
Why it helps: Accepting each moment reduces rushing and supports steadier choices.

Three-Minute Body Scan

What it is: Sweep attention from forehead to toes, softening each area.
How often: Daily, after kids are asleep.
Why it helps: It lowers tension you may not realize you are holding.

Active Listening Pause

What it is: Repeat back one sentence before you respond to your child.
How often: Daily, during high-emotion moments.
Why it helps: It prevents reactive words and builds connection.

Mindfulness Questions Caregivers Ask Most

Q: What are some simple ways to start incorporating mindfulness into a busy daily schedule?
A: Start with “micro-moments” you are already doing: one slow breath before opening a door, three breaths after buckling a car seat, or a 30-second gratitude note at bedtime. Keep it tied to an existing routine so you do not need extra time. Many daily practices are designed to fit into family life without adding pressure.

Q: How can mindfulness practices help reduce stress and improve family harmony?
A: Mindfulness gives you a pause between feeling triggered and reacting, which can soften tone and choices in tense moments. Over time, your steadier presence helps children co-regulate and feel safer. Even brief practices can shift the whole household from “rush mode” to connection.

Q: What is the best time of day to practice mindfulness to get the most benefit?
A: The best time is the time you can repeat, even if it is only one minute. Many caregivers like a morning reset to set intention, or an evening wind-down to release the day. Pick one reliable anchor point and let it be “good enough.”

Q: How do I stay consistent with mindfulness habits when life feels overwhelming?
A: Lower the bar until it is truly doable, like one mindful breath, not ten minutes. Use a visual cue such as a sticky note on the kettle, a phone wallpaper, or a small stone by the sink. If you like structure, make simple family cue cards in a poster-template tool, then tape them where stress happens most, and those interested in finding free printable poster templates can keep it simple.

Q: How can mindfulness techniques support parents and caregivers in balancing work and family life?
A: Use short transitions to switch roles, such as three breaths before you leave work mode and a 20-second body check-in before greeting the kids. One mindful boundary, like finishing a message with one conscious exhale, prevents stress from spilling into family time. Small resets add up to clearer focus and warmer presence.

Build Daily Calm With One Small Mindfulness Practice

Caregiving can feel like a constant pull between everyone else’s needs and your own nervous system. The way through isn’t more pressure, it’s a mindfulness consistent practice mindset: small moments, repeated, supported by gentle cues and a rhythm that fits real life. Over time, empowerment through mindfulness grows into steadier responses, more patience, and family wellness mindfulness that children can feel in the room. Consistency, not intensity, is what turns mindfulness into calm. Choose one practice today, use one reminder cue card, and repeat it daily for a week. That’s how mindfulness routine motivation becomes long-term mindfulness benefits like resilience, connection, and a home that feels safer to breathe in.

Discover a wealth of resources for personal growth and wellness at Be as One, where you can find practical guides and inspiring stories to help you achieve balance and harmony. Be sure to visit Julie’s website at juliemorris.org.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

NEW MUSIC!
Susan’s new release, Amazing Grace” is now available!
Available on Amazon, Spotify, iTunes and YouTube

Purchase Susan’s books.

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp.
Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).

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“River of Grace:” a book of hope during this difficult pandemic

Published on September 4, 2021September 4, 2021 by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

River of Grace: Creative Passages Through Difficult Times was my first book, written in 2015. In the book I reflect upon suffering in my life which included the deaths of my parents and the loss of my singing voice. By trusting in God even when I had no idea where He was leading me, I experienced transformation as a result of the creative power of grief.

River of Grace provides powerful personal stories of loss and grief along with creative ways to cope through trust and faith. It’s a book of hope during this difficult pandemic.

To give you a better idea of the nature of River of Grace, I invite you to watch/listen to a 40 minute presentation on the book which also includes some songs that amplify the meaning.

Where to order River of Grace

My publisher, Ave Maria Press, is holding a Labor Day Weekend sale — go to their website for 10% off the purchase price.

Visit www.avemariapress.com/products/river-of-grace.

Speaking to confirmation students as they make final preparations

Published on April 23, 2018April 23, 2018 by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

I was very pleased to speak to our confirmation candidates on April 8 about practical ways to deepen their faith. Each year I help out with the confirmation retreats — the team gives two each year, scheduled during the Christmas rush. Although it can be difficult to take time away during December, the confirmation retreat is a wonderful reminder of why we love and serve the Lord. I am always so grateful for the time I get to spend with these wonderful kids.

Debbie Ziegler, who promotes our parish activities via social media and email, was kind enough to share with me the article she wrote about the talk. I understand from her that a good discussion ensued with her students after the talk. Thanks Debbie!

photo by Debbie Ziegler for St. Luke the Evangelist Parish, Westborough, MA

At their final class before receiving the Sacrament of Confirmation, Sue Bailey; musician, author, member of the Confirmation retreat team and St. Luke’s music ministry; addresses the students, sharing wisdom and experiences with stories, analogies and music. Sue provided excellent and useful advice and resources to help youth on their continuing path of discovery and faith in the Catholic church.

Sue answers the question, “Where Do I Go From Here?” by showing how she was able to recognize, then trust, the call of God; and that in doing so she was led to some unexpected and wonderful new places.

Here is her talk:

The students enjoyed her presentation, which concluded with her song, “Will You Teach Me” and contemplation of the lyrics:

Oh, will You teach me to be loved

And will you teach me to receive

The bounty of Your endless grace

You gave me reason to believe

There’s something greater than me

Sue Bailey’s song “Will You Teach Me”:

A novel gift idea this Christmas: just let each other BE

Published on December 12, 2017 by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

Note: this is my Catholic Free Press column for December; it is also running on Catholicmom.com.

Here’s an except:

Pressure!

By Eric Mueller (2003) via Flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0

There is a lot of pressure applied to people during the holiday season to conform to some artificial standard. Society tells us to behave in one way while the opposite is preached by our Church. Newlyweds are expected to be present at all the family gatherings despite the impossible logistics. The financially strapped are supposed to spend, spend, spend. The domestically challenged must entertain and cook up a storm. Those still licking wounds from Christmases past are supposed to act like they were never wounded. The lonely should not be lonely and the grieving should stop mourning and put it behind them.

So how can we be of help? And what if we fit one of these categories — can we be kind to ourselves?

Read on …

Continue reading “A novel gift idea this Christmas: just let each other BE” →

Interview with Pat Gohn on the Discerning Hearts website about my book, River of Grace

Published on May 17, 2017 by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

In this wonderful podcast known as Among Women, Pat Gohn and I discuss the themes of my book, River of Grace, now available on the Discerning Hearts website. We talk about loss, grief and the wonderful transformation possible through suffering.

This episode Pat Gohn talks about finding a way through grief, loss, and tribulation. She speaks with Catholic author and singer-songwriter Susan Bailey. Together they talk about the recovery from loss or grief and how to deal with it creatively and with the help of prayer and the sacraments. You’ll enjoy her talk about her kayaking experiences and the spiritual lessons she learned from it, as captured in her book, River of Grace.

LISTEN TO “AMONG WOMEN: RIDING THE RIVER OF GRACE”

River of Grace along with my other books is available through Amazon.

Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available!
Purchase here.

Find out more / Purchase your copies

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

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Today’s the day to try “River of Grace”

Published on March 30, 2017 by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

Ave Maria Press is offering River of Grace Creative Passages Through Difficult Times at a deep discount for a limited time. If you’ve always wanted to read it, now’s the time to take the plunge!

Be sure and purchase it directly from Ave Maria Press — here’s the link.

Still not sure? Here is more information on the book.

You can help out too by leaving a review on Amazon — just search for “River of Grace by Susan Bailey.”

And thanks!

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Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available!
Purchase here.

Find out more / Purchase your copies

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

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Dedicated singers ease the journey home

Published on October 21, 2016October 21, 2016 by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

NOTE: This story ran in the Catholic Free Press on October 21, 2016 in their Bereavement supplement.

Each Wednesday afternoon, eighteen men and women gather at the Congregational Church in Westborough to rehearse songs for performance. They have come from various churches, Catholic and Protestant, in Westborough, Northborough and Marlborough. Some come from the Westborough Community Chorus and the Assabet Valley Master Singers. The performances for which they rehearse are however, not meant for entertainment.

p1080888 — (L to R) Jim Nolan, Mary Beland and John McCann are members of the Journey Home Singers and all are members of the St. Luke the Evangelist choir in Westborough, MA. Beland invited both men to join the Journey Home Singers.

The Journey Home Singers sing in homes, hospitals and nursing homes to hospice patients. “Our intention is to bring comfort, beauty, caring and compassion with our singing to anyone who wants us to visit,” said Kathy Todd, director of the Journey Home Singers.

Todd started the group in June of 2009 after attending a singing workshop in the Berkshires. During that gathering, flyers were distributed for a workshop involving hospice singing. Todd was immediately intrigued, inspired by her own personal experience with caring for a dying sister.

“We started [the Journey Home Singers] in June of 2009, which was about six months after my oldest sister died,” recalls Todd. “My sister Martha had been ill with COPD for several years, and had just entered hospice care at her home in August 2008. On August 19 she fell and broke her hip and was taken to ICU at St. Vincent’s in Worcester. About a month later, doctors determined there was nothing more they could do for her, other than having her live attached to a ventilator. My youngest sister and I kept a vigil with her that night after she decided not to go with a ventilator. Time spent by her bedside was the first catalyst that led me to realize a vision that became the hospice choir.”

The workshop was run by Hallowell from Brattleboro, VT. Their mission is to offer support to the dying by bringing comfort, calm and beauty. After attending, Todd felt compelled to start a group. “I thought about it for a long time, I had no experience as a director,” she said. She decided to call her choir the Journey Home Singers, inspired by a song she heard at the workshop, “Angels Hovering Round”: “We’re on our journey home…”

Todd began her search for members, beginning with her choir at the Congregational Church in Westborough. She expanded that search to other church choirs and community choruses. Mary Beland, member of the St. Luke the Evangelist Choir in Westborough, was one of the first to join.

“I received notice from Betsy Sowers (a friend of Todd) that the Journey Home Singers was just being conceived and Kathy was searching around for singers to join,” said Beland who is also a member of the Assabet Valley Master Singers. Recently she invited fellow church choir members Jim Nolan and John McCann to join.

Once assembled, Todde sought to publicize the group. “I work for the Community Advocate (out of Northborough) and they were very supportive,” she said. The newspaper did a story on the Journey Home Singers in 2010 and granted Todd time off as needed to do the performances.

Because they seek to personalize their song selections for each patient, The Journey Home Singers offer a wide repertoire of songs taken from both Christian and Jewish traditions. Soon after the article ran, Todd connected with Mary Poole, once the hospice chaplain at Beaumont Nursing Home in Westborough who assisted Todd in in this effort by supplying the patient’s first name and last initial, faith tradition and condition (responsive/unresponsive).

Beland’s motivation for joining the group was similar to Todd’s. “I was already comfortable with the idea because I sat with my sister while she was dying. She and I shared the same love for music.” She knows that as a ministry, one may not always get feedback from a patient. “If you want applause, you might not get it,” she said.

Nolan feels it is a way to continue to have music in his life while helping others. He too understands that responses will vary although he has noted a “flutter of an eye, a tear, a raised hand” from those to whom he has sung.

McCann was motivated to join because of a rather involved experience he had years ago traveling to Guatemala with his then teenaged son only to return and discover that his brother had unexpectedly passed away. He recalled a moment when he was alone during the trip, surrounded by the wind, noting the quiet and sensing that something was happening.

“In Lo De Bran in the early afternoon, I was sitting alone by a well, on a wall. No one was near me. I was surrounded by a gentle soft warm wind which engulfed me. I felt a little different, but did not think much of it, other than it was very hot … I … felt a very quiet peace.”

When he learned when his brother had been stricken, he realized it had happened while he was sitting by that well. “The Good Lord kept Jim in our presence for three more days, allowing my son Aidan and me to return safely from Guatemala and to be with him. I could never explain how even in the horrors of Jim’s death that God can be so good so as to allow Aidan and me such special moments with Jim just before he died.” It was this experience that prompted McCann to minister to other such people through the Journey Home Singers.

Stories abound of experiences with patients. Todd recalls a man who kept a hymnal near his bedside but was unable to hold the book open due to his condition. “He was a singer – after one song, he joined in even though he really couldn’t hold the book. It made him so happy,” she said.

One experience involved a little girl. “We went into Boston Children’s Hospital to sing for a seven-year-old girl — one of our toughest. She was not conscious and had seizures three to four times a day. The whole family was there, so upbeat. They put their arms around her and sang to her – they would sing along with us,” recalls Beland.

The Journey Home Singers thus fulfills a much needed mission. “If can we talk about dying and be aware of our own death, we can become more comfortable with it and use the time have now in a much more effective, more beautiful way. We’ll live well,” says Todd.

If you are interested in joining The Journey Home Singers, you can contact Kathy Todd at lightsong60@gmail.com or call 508-335-1043.

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Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available!
Purchase here.

Find out more / Purchase your copies

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

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Lifted up and out—breaking free from dejection

Published on June 21, 2016 by susanwbailey4 Comments

JUNE 20, 2016 — We all go through spells where we feel blue, even downright dejected. I know lately I’ve been waking up in the morning and feeling a sense of dread about facing a new day. Those fears and anxieties that lie just below the surface tend to be magnified in the wee hours of the morning before the alarm goes off. A quick cup of coffee, some time in prayer with Jenny on my lap purring, and those feelings begin to dissipate. Lately however, I’ve had a harder time getting them to leave me.

One of the psalms that I pray each morning describes dejection to the point of despair:

You have put me in the lowest pit,
in the darkest depths.
Your wrath lies heavily on me;
you have overwhelmed me with all your waves.
You have taken from me my closest friends
and have made me repulsive to them.
I am confined and cannot escape;
my eyes are dim with grief.

Psalm 88, 6-9 NIV

Most days I think of those I have known who have experienced that kind of despair. I think too of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, overcome by the knowledge of the suffering he would experience. But some days, I think of me.

I pride myself with knowing why I feel the way I do—I am introspective by nature, and to a fault. But lately I am not clear as to why I feel the way I do. Perhaps it’s the cycle of days seeming to go by faster and faster. It could be those small aches and pains of age reminding me that youth is long over. Maybe I need to stop paying attention to the news because the world no longer makes sense. Maybe I need to stop being so introspective!

I prayed to God today during that psalm and I prayed again during the one o’clock hour when I lift up petitions of healing for family and friends. I rarely include myself but today I did. I asked for grace to come up out of myself, to be lifted up and out. And my prayer was answered.

I am reading an antique book printed in 1937 about an historical figure, Amos Bronson Alcott. The book is large, its pages browning, the paper soft to the touch. The spine is such that that the book stays open by itself. The cover is exquisite, vintage 1930s art in earth tones. The biographer is totally immersed in his subject, revealing to me the mind and the heart of one of recent histories’ biggest conundrums. Alcott was a man of extremes—at once brilliant, original, insightful while at the same time blind to the physical needs of his family, unable, unwilling at times to work to support them. He drew amazing creativity out of his daughters but inflicted great scars through his demands for perfection and virtue, causing one to become a workaholic to support the family while constantly striving to prove her virtue (Louisa) while another found that virtue perfectly in death rather than life (Lizzie).

With all his fatal flaws, Amos Bronson Alcott is a fascinating figure and Odell Shepherd, the biographer, writes about the man with incredible beauty and insight. Some call it “old-fashioned” but I say that Shepherd, because he wrote the book only forty-nine years after Alcott’s death, was closer to him that current biographers could ever hope to be. Perhaps the writing style is “dated;” the fact that there are no footnotes proves to be frustrating for scholars. But there is general agreement that the work is authentic. And that’s why it speaks to me.

And today during my lunch break as I read, scribbling notes in the margins, I found myself being lifted out of my dejection by the sheer beauty of the words and the tactile experience of holding that magnificent old book.

God answered my prayer. Through the experience of reading, I could be lifted out of the prison of myself, my eyes no longer dimmed with grief, my spirit no longer overcome with waves. Because I could get lost in the life of another through the exquisite writing of his biographer, I could receive a gift of grace.

We all have tools we use to help ourselves feel better when we are blue. Some like to listen to music, go for a walk, take a swim or see friends. These are all gifts of grace from God who knows our every need. In my case, rather late in life, I was given the grace to lose myself in a book and in the lives of fascinating historical figures.

Thank you Lord.

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River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
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Owning our grief and why this is helpful to others–Virginia Woolf and Louisa May Alcott as guides

Published on January 25, 2016 by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

I wrote a book about loss and grief. In a second book, I included passages from an author who guided me through my loss and grief.

And yet, I am afraid to share that story with others.

Sounds absurd–after all, both books have been published and are available for the public to see. But I am glad I don’t have to be there when the book is read. Well aware that grief is uniquely tailored to the individual, I feel utterly unqualified to say anything about it, face to face.

Mysterious … unpredictable …

Grief is mysterious, unpredictable, you might even say, capricious. I can’t tell you how many times grief has decided to drop in when I am in front of other people. It has often visited in the form of tears and I have to hide away until it passes. It has also visited on too many occasions when I’ve sung in public, crippling my voice or simply rising up in the form of irrational fear.

Mike Schaffner Angel of Grief, Flickr Creative Commons

Important to share

When I read this story by Claire Fallon, Virginia Woolf’s Guide To Grieving, and how she connected her grieving over the loss of her mother to that of Woolf (both lost their mothers near puberty), I realized it is, in fact, important to share our grief stories.

Comfort through companionship

Fallon derived a lot of comfort from Woolf, not because Woolf offered consolation or answers, but because she was a companion on the journey. Fallon found a like mind in Woolf which helped her work through grief that had been bottled up inside for many years.

My companion

Reading Louisa May Alcott did that for me. Alcott offered no quick answers, no “5-step plan,” and certainly no skirting of the truth of suffering and death. Instead, Alcott shared her beliefs about death through her stories and they just happened to match mine. I was numb with grief at the time I took up reading and found that turning the pages of my mother’s antique volumes of Little Women, Aunt Jo’s Scrap-Bag and An Old-Fashioned Girl (all marked with her personal nameplate) and reading Alcott’s words helped me remember my mother when she was healthy and vital.

The best way to help

My process did not take as long as Fallon’s but it reminds me yet again that the best thing I can do to help someone who is grieving is to just be there to listen. And when it’s appropriate, share a few stories.

The value of writing

Alcott and Woolf had the courage to write it down and share it with the public. Writing has a way of uncovering what is really going on inside of you. Writing doesn’t have to be public to be helpful–keeping a a journal and writing letters to others (handwritten, as opposed to email) can help a great deal. But if you choose to share stories through the written word or through conversation, you have to own it.

That’s what I have to learn how to do.

Here is the link to Claire Fallon’s article. I think I will try a little Virginia Woolf; she is showing me the benefits of ownership.

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Grief that doesn’t “follow the rules” – my interview on the Jon and Jeanne Morning Program on Iowa Catholic Radio

Published on November 23, 2015 by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

I was privileged to appear this morning on “Jon and Jeanne in the Morning” on Iowa Catholic Radio to talk about River of Grace:

We talked about the creative ways that God’s grace works through our grief when we lose someone we love. Turns out I’m far from alone in thinking my grief journey after my mom died was strange! Jon shares a similar story during the interview about losing his beloved grandmother.

All of you who have “been-there-done-that” will nod your heads in agreement when I say there are no rules when it comes to grief except that it is yours. It is a unique experience, one that if embraced, will bring us to new and wonderful things after the sorrow begins to pull back.

We know how grief can reappear in unexpected ways during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Coining a phrase often used by author Joyce Rupp, “leaning” into our grief releases us into God’s hands where his river of grace can carry us to eventual healing.

Here is this morning’s interview. Maybe this little snippet can help nudge you in the right direction.