Category: Family

Smart Moves: Budget-Friendly Home-Buying & Moving Tips for Families

Published on by susanwbaileyLeave a comment
Guest post by Julie Morris

Image via Freepik

Buying a new home is exciting, nerve-wracking, and often expensive—especially when kids are in the mix. But with a little planning and creativity, parents can make the process more affordable without sacrificing comfort or safety.

Key Takeaways

  • Get pre-approved and know your limits.
  • Budget for moving day (and the pizza afterward).
  • Reuse, recycle, and borrow before buying anything new.
  • Think beyond the house: location, schools, and utilities matter.
  • Keep kids engaged with creative moving-day “missions.”

1. Focus on Community First

When life feels divided between mortgage paperwork, moving boxes, and restless kids, take a cue from Be as One.

Bailey’s message is simple yet profound: all the pieces of your life — work, family, art, faith — can exist together in harmony. She writes about the “many pieces of a harmonious life” as gifts from God, not distractions from it. Even when things feel disjointed, unity can emerge through gratitude, creativity, and connection.

In the context of home buying and moving, that’s powerful advice. Your move doesn’t have to feel like a rupture; it can be a renewal. Treat each stage — decluttering, budgeting, packing — as part of one harmonious whole. When the process gets messy (and it will), remember Bailey’s reminder that “nothing is meant to be hidden away.” Every stressful moment and every small victory belong in your family’s shared story of growth.

So as you label boxes and compare mortgage rates, take a breath. This is not just a move — it’s one more step toward a unified, joy-filled home life.

2. Saving Money Without Sacrificing Sanity

Families can save thousands with a few smart adjustments. Try these ideas before calling the movers:

Budget Hacks for Parents

  • Negotiate everything — from realtor commissions to inspection fees.
  • Ask about first-time-buyer programs; many states offer tax credits or low-interest loans.
  • Buy used boxes from local listings instead of new ones.
  • Get creative with furniture transport. Sometimes renting a van for two days costs less than a moving service for one.
  • Plan your move mid-month—rates are lower when demand dips.
  • Compare moving service quotes on platforms like org and PODS.com.

3. Keep Kids Comfortable During the Transition

Moving is stressful for everyone, especially little ones. Turn the move into an adventure instead of an upheaval.

Age Group How to Help Them Cope Budget-Friendly Trick
Toddlers Keep one familiar “comfort box” of toys nearby. Use reusable bins instead of cardboard—no repurchasing later.
School-age Kids Give them “packing missions” (like labeling rooms). Offer small rewards—stickers or treats, not gadgets.
Teens Let them design their new room layout. DIY decor using thrift-store finds or repainting instead of refurnishing.

4. Smart Financial Move: Protecting What You Just Bought

Homeownership brings peace of mind — until a furnace fails or a washing machine gives up. That’s where exploring home warranty options available makes sense.

A home warranty is a customizable annual plan that covers repairs or replacements for key systems and appliances, helping you manage costs from normal wear and tear. It’s not glamorous, but it can save thousands and keep family life running smoothly.

5. The Family Home-Buying & Moving Checklist

Before You Buy

  1. Review your credit report on AnnualCreditReport.com.
  2. Get pre-approved with at least two lenders to compare offers.
  3. Set a “must-have vs. nice-to-have” list with your partner and kids.

Before You Move

  1. Declutter—donate, sell, or recycle unused toys and clothes.
  2. Book movers early or rent a van before peak dates.
  3. Transfer utilities and confirm your change of address.

After You Move

  1. Deep-clean before unpacking—especially high-touch areas.
  2. Walk the neighborhood with your kids to explore local parks.
  3. Host a “snack night” picnic to meet your new neighbors.

6. Product Spotlight: Smart Packing Essentials

Families often forget one item that can save headaches: reusable vacuum storage bags. They keep clothes fresh, compress bedding, and save half your car space. Try affordable versions from IKEA, Target, or Amazon Basics. For parents juggling boxes and bedtimes, they’re a small miracle.

7. Quick FAQ

Is it better to buy a fixer-upper or move-in ready home when on a tight budget?
If you have reliable local contractors and time, a mild fixer-upper can be a smart choice. Just set aside at least 15% of your budget for unexpected repairs.

How can parents minimize stress for kids during a move?
Give them agency. Let them decorate boxes or design their new room virtually.

Should I buy new furniture right away?
Wait 30–60 days. Live in the space first; you’ll save by understanding what you need.

8. Glossary

  • Equity – The portion of your home you truly own, based on its market value minus any mortgage balance.
  • Closing Costs – Fees paid at the end of the home-buying process, including title, inspection, and loan charges.
  • Contingency – A condition in a real estate contract that must be met before the sale is finalized.
  • Pre-Approval – A lender’s written estimate of how much you can borrow for a mortgage.
  • Home Warranty – A service contract covering repair or replacement of major home systems and appliances.

Conclusion

Home-buying with kids can feel like a marathon of lists, boxes, and emotions, but with smart planning, it becomes a shared family journey—not just a transaction.

Focus on community, comfort, and creativity, and you’ll find your new home is more than an address—it’s where your family’s next chapter begins.

How Families Can Invest in Their Overall Self-Care

Published on by susanwbaileyLeave a comment
Guest post by Julie Morris

Image via Freepik

Families are at their strongest when everyone feels healthy, grounded, and cared for. Yet between school drop-offs, packed calendars, and the daily grind, self-care can slip quietly into the background. It doesn’t have to. When families treat self-care as a collective priority — not just a personal indulgence — it becomes a way to deepen connection, reduce stress, and model resilience for kids. Here’s how you can make that shift, with actionable ways to start today.

Strengthening Bonds Through Movement

Nothing clears a room of tension like shared motion. Family walks after dinner, a bike ride on a Sunday afternoon, even an impromptu dance party in the living room — it’s less about the calories and more about the emotional release. Studies show kids mirror their parents’ habits, and adults benefit emotionally when you work out together. The energy shifts. Laughter comes easier. Suddenly, the idea of self-care feels less like an errand and more like a ritual everyone looks forward to.

Choosing the Right Supplements

As families aim to fill nutritional gaps and feel more energized, supplements can be a smart part of the equation. But it’s important to pick products that align with your values — clean, easy to use, and kid-friendly where possible. If you’re looking for helpful solutions, this is a good one to keep on hand as part of a well-rounded self-care approach. Taken daily, it can become one more small but meaningful way to invest in your family’s collective well-being.

Taking a Break from Screens

When was the last time your family sat in silence without a device in sight? It feels almost radical now, but it’s worth it. Even a single evening unplugged can shift the mood and open space for real conversation. One family described the difference a weekend screen-free reset made in reconnecting with their teens — the awkward silence gave way to stories, games, and even spontaneous plans. That kind of reset costs nothing yet pays off in presence, attention, and trust.

Investing in Yourself Without Guilt

Too many parents frame spending on wellness as a luxury. It’s not. Setting aside dollars for yoga, therapy, healthy food, or creative hobbies sends kids a powerful message: your well-being deserves a line item in the budget. A smart way to start is by building a wellness budget that factors in both short-term needs and long-term habits. Even a modest allocation each month can reduce guilt, prevent burnout, and keep you from sacrificing your health to everyone else’s demands.

Eating Well Without Overcomplicating It

For all the talk about superfoods and meal plans, family nutrition comes down to rhythm and intent. Keep it simple, keep it consistent, and keep it joyful. Start small — one or two weeknight meals everyone can count on, where vegetables and conversation are equally important. Parents who prioritize daily family meal routines find that kids pick up healthy eating patterns faster and resist less because they see it modeled. A stocked fruit bowl and a plan for who sets the table can work wonders.

Adding Layers of Calm

Sometimes the best thing a family can do is… pause. You don’t need a meditation app or a retreat to find your breath. Even five minutes sitting together, eyes closed, focusing on nothing but inhale and exhale, can shift a hectic evening into something quieter. One hospital recommends five-minute shared breathing exercises to help families cope with anxiety, proving how little time it really takes to recalibrate. It’s grounding, it’s free, and it builds resilience you can feel.

Building a Wellness Budget That Sticks

It’s easy to lose track of spending when it comes to “self-care splurges,” but intentional budgeting can turn impulse into strategy. A family that sets clear priorities — and ties those to specific financial actions — feels less conflict and more clarity when the credit card comes out. One parent said that by prioritizing wellness spend they finally stopped second-guessing whether to book the dentist, the therapy session, or the weekend away. It became an investment, not an indulgence.

Self-care doesn’t happen in isolation. When families treat it as something shared, it becomes easier — and much more powerful. Every moment you carve out for yourselves strengthens the foundation you all stand on. You don’t have to get it perfect. Start with what feels manageable, celebrate small wins, and keep going. It’s not just about feeling better today; it’s about teaching the next generation that they deserve care, too. And that lesson? It sticks.

Discover a wealth of resources and inspiration for personal growth and well-being at Be as One, where faith and creativity unite to help you live the life you truly desire!

Be sure to visit Julie’s website at juliemorris.org.
Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

amazing grace album cover
NEW MUSIC!
Susan’s new release, Amazing Grace” is now available!
Available on Amazon, Spotify, iTunes and YouTube

00 cover smalllouisa cover smallimaginary-heroes_cover
Purchase Susan’s books.

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp.
Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

00 harmony color book featured imageMany people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).

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Conquering Stress: A Modern Guide to Achieving Balance and Harmony

Published on by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

Guest post by Julie Morris

In today’s fast-paced world, especially during the holiday season, stress can become an overwhelming presence. The added pressures of holiday planning, family gatherings, and financial concerns often intensify our usual stressors. This article, brought to you by Be as One, is designed to not only identify the common and holiday-specific sources of stress but also to provide effective strategies to manage it. We will explore how to navigate through the festive chaos with ease, ensuring a more joyful and relaxed holiday experience, along with overall well-being for a happier, healthier life.

Learn Your Stress Triggers

Identifying the causes of stress involves uncovering often overlooked factors like work pressures, personal relationships, financial worries, and health concerns. This recognition acts as a crucial first step in combating stress, illuminating hidden triggers. Armed with this knowledge, you can strategically tackle stress, moving from guesswork to targeted action.

Embrace Regular Physical Activity

Regular exercise goes beyond physical health, serving as an effective tool for stress relief through the release of endorphins, nature’s mood enhancers. Incorporating at least 30 minutes of enjoyable activities like walking, cycling, or dancing into your daily routine can significantly lift your spirits. This form of physical engagement not only boosts physical wellness but also operates as a natural antidepressant, making it a vital component in managing stress.

Nourish the Body and Mind

Improving your diet plays a critical role in stress management. Foods rich in nutrients fortify your body against the ravages of stress. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins offer fuel for your stress-fighting engine. On the flip side, limit caffeine and sugar, as they can amplify stress and anxiety. Consider your diet as a palette from which you can paint a more stress-resistant lifestyle. It’s not just about eating; it’s about nourishing both body and mind.

Go Back to School

Sometimes, stress is our mind’s way of telling us that we aren’t doing what we’re supposed to be doing. So if you’re thinking about a career change, going back to school is a great place to start! Online programs in particular offer a great deal of flexibility, and there are plenty of degrees to choose from. For instance, if you’d like to be a nurse, you could pursue an RN to BSN online, gaining valuable knowledge you need to get ahead.

Balance Professional and Personal Worlds

Establishing work-life balance is essential in our always-on world. This balance is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Setting clear boundaries between work and personal time is key. Dedicate time for relaxation and hobbies that rejuvenate your spirit. Remember, no job is worth sacrificing your mental and emotional well-being. In this balancing act, prioritize yourself; it’s the only way to sustain your productivity and happiness in the long run.

Cultivate Positivity

Maintaining a positive attitude is a cornerstone of stress management. It’s about focusing on solutions, not problems. Practice gratitude daily; it shifts your perspective from what’s going wrong to what’s going right. Surround yourself with people who uplift you. A positive mindset doesn’t just reduce stress, it also attracts more joy and success into your life. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy: the more positivity you emit, the more you receive.

Restore Yourself with Rest

Getting enough sleep is crucial for rejuvenation. Quality sleep is as vital as food and water for our well-being. Establish a relaxing bedtime routine to signal your body it’s time to wind down. Create a sleep environment that’s conducive to rest: cool, quiet, and comfortable. This restorative process is your body’s time to heal from the day’s stresses, preparing you for the challenges of tomorrow.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Practicing deep breathing and meditation are keys to inner peace. These practices bring a sense of calmness, helping you to navigate life’s storms with a steadier hand. Integrate them into your daily routine, even if it’s just for a few minutes. This commitment to mindfulness is an investment in your mental and emotional bank account, offering rich dividends in stress reduction and overall well-being.

Explore Alternative Relief Methods

In the quest for balance and harmony, exploring various alternative therapies can be a transformative journey. These therapies often focus on healing the body and mind holistically. Here are a few that have gained popularity:

  • Acupuncture: This ancient Chinese therapy involves inserting thin needles into specific points on the body. It’s believed to correct imbalances in the flow of energy (Qi), thereby promoting relaxation and healing. Acupuncture is widely used for pain relief, stress management, and even for chronic conditions like migraines and arthritis.
  • Aromatherapy: Aromatherapy uses essential oils extracted from plants to enhance physical and emotional health. Each oil has unique properties and can be used in various ways, such as in diffusers or for topical application. Lavender, for example, is noted for reducing anxiety, boosting mood, and aiding in better sleep.
  • Reiki: Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation. Practitioners believe in channeling universal energy through their hands to the recipient, fostering emotional or physical healing. It is often sought for its ability to impart a deep sense of peace and well-being, often complementing traditional medical treatments.
  • Tetrahydrocannabinolic Acid: THCA is a non-psychoactive compound found in raw and live cannabis. Unlike THC, it doesn’t produce a ‘high’ but is researched for its potential therapeutic benefits. It has been associated with anti-inflammatory and neuroprotective properties, making it a subject of interest for treating various health conditions. Be mindful when purchasing THCA that you find a reputable source.

Navigating stress in today’s hectic world, particularly during the holiday season, is an evolving process that demands self-awareness and dedication. The holiday period, with its unique blend of joy and stress from planning, family dynamics, and financial demands, adds another layer to this challenge. However, by pinpointing both everyday and holiday-specific stressors and applying the strategies discussed, you can steer towards a more balanced and joyful existence. Keep in mind, effective stress management, especially during these festive times, is crucial for your overall well-being. Prioritizing it not only during the holidays but throughout the year is key to a healthier, more rewarding life.

Photo courtesy of Pexels.

Be as One is here to help you get the harmonious life you deserve. Questions? Don’t hesitate to reach out!
You can find out more about Julie Morris at juliemorris.org.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

amazing grace album cover
NEW MUSIC!
Susan’s new release, Amazing Grace” is now available!
Available on Amazon, Spotify, iTunes and YouTube

00 cover smalllouisa cover smallimaginary-heroes_cover
Purchase Susan’s books.

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp.
Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

00 harmony color book featured imageMany people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).

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“River of Grace:” a book of hope during this difficult pandemic

Published on by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

River of Grace: Creative Passages Through Difficult Times was my first book, written in 2015. In the book I reflect upon suffering in my life which included the deaths of my parents and the loss of my singing voice. By trusting in God even when I had no idea where He was leading me, I experienced transformation as a result of the creative power of grief.

River of Grace provides powerful personal stories of loss and grief along with creative ways to cope through trust and faith. It’s a book of hope during this difficult pandemic.

To give you a better idea of the nature of River of Grace, I invite you to watch/listen to a 40 minute presentation on the book which also includes some songs that amplify the meaning.

Where to order River of Grace

My publisher, Ave Maria Press, is holding a Labor Day Weekend sale — go to their website for 10% off the purchase price.

Visit www.avemariapress.com/products/river-of-grace.

A Special Bouquet for Carmen

Published on by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

Pure creativity is such a sacred time – love this post by my friend Brunhilde Luken.

susanwbailey's avatarBrunhilde Luken, artist and writer

It was an exciting wonderful summer day. My thoughts went back to the time when my children were little. Now they are all grown up with children and some grandchildren of their own. For a second, time stood still. In my mind I watched them play and giggle and laugh. They were so happy. Thankful to our Lord for being able to remember it all. I thought, “Today is a good day to paint a special bouquet.” As I started to play-paint, I truly felt this was my playtime.

I put a first layer on and washed it off, this was a perfect background. As I started to paint, I could picture this in my daughter Carmen’s kitchen. With so much love in my heart, my brushes moved over the canvas with such ease creating this beautiful bouquet of flowers. I knew God gave me this special gift for my…

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January promises of silence and stillness

Published on by susanwbailey2 Comments

My January 2018 column for The Catholic Free Press and Catholicmom.

The month of January promises many things:

  • The emotional letdown after Christmas.
  • The return to work after a long vacation.
  • The loneliness of an empty house after the children have gone to theirs.
  • Hunkering down with the cold and snow.
  • New beginnings with the new year.
  • Silence, and emptiness.

By Denis Collette (2011) via Flickr, CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

All during the busyness and noise of the holidays I longed for what January would bring. While I’m no fan of winter weather I appreciate the permission it grants to curl up in front of the fire with a good book, a steaming cup of coffee and a purring cat.

The silence is a welcomed guest whom I wish would stay with me always; it is elusive, fleeing at the slightest distraction. Emptiness signals a time to be filled.

What will I fill it with?

My emptiness is not just because of children I miss. It is certainly not due to lack of activity (for this I accept with gladness). It’s not because it is cold and gray outside rather than warm and green.

There is something else I miss far more.

It manifests itself in a gnawing feeling, a sense of arms reaching out for something, for someone. It’s that longing described in the scriptures as the deer panting for water.

By Jun Aoyama (2005) via Flickr, CC BY-NC 2.0

An empty spirit that is sorry for prayers not said, for people neglected, for preferring worldly idols, for being consumed with self rather than with others. Longing for my Beloved who seems so far away and yet is so close to me that I cannot perceive Him.

January is a month of silence.

The birds not only do not sing but don’t even come to the feeder. The cold keeps people inside of their houses. Nighttime activities abate. It’s a time of promise, a gift, an invitation to draw near to my Beloved. Silence issues an invitation to hear His whisper in my heart. The quiet permits me to see those small signs that will lead me home.

By Luigi Alesi (2008) via Flickr, CC BY-NC 2.0

What will those signs be?

What will He whisper to me? How long must I wait in silence?

Drawing upon past experience I know that the quiet will yield its reward no matter how long I have to wait. God works best in silence and often He will remain the background, revealing Himself in His time, at the best possible moment.

So I will wait, confident of His presence even if I may not feel it just yet. I will return to being faithful to my prayers, read his Word and ask for the grace to turn from myself to others. In the proper time, when my heart is truly silent, my Beloved will make Himself known.

January will fulfill her promise.

 

Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available!
Purchase here.

Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

 

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Yearning for perfection, longing for home

Published on by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

Note: This month’s column for the Catholic Free Press.

A couple of weeks ago our family and friends gathered to give our daughter Meredith a bridal shower. We had the entire first floor of the Asa Waters mansion in Millbury for the event. Tables were set up in the gracious hall, food was served in the elegant dining room, and drinks were offered in an adjoining room. Gifts were displayed on the winding staircase.

The theme of the shower was Harry Potter, brilliantly executed by Meredith’s matron of honor, Roxanne, and her bridesmaids. For our entertainment there were games and a photo booth with a glittery gold backdrop; masks were provided to don for comical photos, many of which were posted on Facebook pages.

Meredith and her finance Jimmy opened the many gifts and were overwhelmed by the generosity and thoughtfulness of their family and friends.

The whole affair was perfection. All I wanted to do when it was over was to relive the day again and again.

Yet I had an odd reaction of sadness after the shower. It felt very similar to the days when both the children moved out of the house for good leaving a void that would never again be filled. As on those days, I went to Meredith’s room and had a good cry.

In reflecting upon those emotions I thought about other momentous occasions in my children’s lives. The day they were born. Their first day in kindergarten. School plays. Graduation from high school, and then college. Meredith’s engagement. Important days to be sure. And yet, none of those days conjured up the sadness and yearning I felt after the bridal shower. Why was that?

Perfection in life is rare, one might even say impossible. You recognize it when you are living in a perfect moment and you know it is something that will never happen again. It is fleeting; it cannot be held onto or possessed. It is to be lived only to slip away out of our grasp. We are left with the shadow of a fading memory.

And it occurred to me that I was mourning the loss of perfection. For three hours I was able to experience it only to have it end. Things of this world are temporary; everything decays and dies.

I began to wonder how Adam and Eve felt after leaving the Garden of Eden—did they mourn their loss of perfection? During His time on earth, did Jesus long for home? Did He too experience times of melancholy and yearning, remembering his existence of perfection?

We were meant for perfection; created in the Garden of Eden we were destined to live in sublime harmony with our Heavenly Father. Somewhere along the way we were misled into thinking perfection meant being God rather than being with God.

And now we are left with the shadow of the memory of perfection. And once in a great while, we taste it, reminding us perhaps of we had lost in our arrogance. We mourn the loss, we hunger for home, we yearn for what we were meant to be.

The words of St. Augustine are true: “Our hearts are restless until they rest in you.”

Meredith’s bridal shower was a gift of grace, a moment to remind me of what perfection can be like. And why it is worth enduring life’s trials in faith to reach that final goal of perfection—the reunion with God which will last for all eternity. Only then will our restless hearts be satisfied.

 

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Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available!
Purchase here.

Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

 

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Today’s the day to try “River of Grace”

Published on by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

Ave Maria Press is offering River of Grace Creative Passages Through Difficult Times at a deep discount for a limited time. If you’ve always wanted to read it, now’s the time to take the plunge!

Be sure and purchase it directly from Ave Maria Press — here’s the link.

Still not sure? Here is more information on the book.

You can help out too by leaving a review on Amazon — just search for “River of Grace by Susan Bailey.”

And thanks!

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Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available!
Purchase here.

Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

 

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From the pen of an empty-nester: The season of comings and goings

Published on by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

NOTE: This is my upcoming column in the Catholic Free Press (for Friday, January 13) and it is currently running on Catholicmom.com.

Before I share my column, a few words.

It’s been a while since I’ve written regularly for this blog and this is because I am involved in a mammoth writing project which you can find out more about here.

from http://nextcenturypublishing.com/
from http://nextcenturypublishing.com/

This is the book I was working on when I was offered the opportunities of River of Grace and Louisa May Alcott Illuminated by The Message; these works (thanks to excellent editors and publishers) taught me how to write professionally, making this new book possible. It is the work of my heart, the book of my life. And it being all consuming, it’s been difficult keeping up with my two blogs.

A new direction for this blog

While prepping for River of Grace, I read a book of essays about the adjustment to an empty nest (I had originally intended to include a chapter on that subject). In writing for Catholicmom I thought I might focus on being an empty-nester as I have many thoughts on this stage of life; I will share those columns here as well.

rpphotos I'm beginning to feel the empty nest syndrome, Flickr Creative Commons
rpphotos I’m beginning to feel the empty nest syndrome, Flickr Creative Commons

My first column, “The Season of Comings and Goings”, was published this week on Catholicmom and I invite you to read it:

Another Christmas has come and gone. The tree is outside on the deck for the birds to enjoy; the wreath, brown and dry, is feeding the soil on the other side of the fence.

All the lights are wrapped up (with their extension cords this time!) and put away.

And the letdown after Christmas begins. Every ornament carefully placed in the box, each stocking taken down reminds me of the family time I still crave and so cherish.

manger

Continue reading …

 

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Susan’s latest CD, “Mater Dei” is now available!
Purchase here.

Many people find coloring to be a wonderful way to relax and experience harmony in their lives. Is that you? Join my Email List to subscribe to this blog and receive your free Harmony coloring book (and more).

River of Grace Audio book with soundtrack music available now on Bandcamp. Listen to the preface of the book, and all the songs.

Susan Bailey, Author, Speaker, Musician on Facebook and Twitter
Read my other blog, Louisa May Alcott is My Passion

 

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Creating room—the conundrum of the empty nest

Published on by susanwbaileyLeave a comment

The long Christmas break is over and the letdown is leaving me a bit melancholy. The stretching of the heart that comes with the empty nest made full, and then made empty again, hurts.

Both of our adult children were home for the holidays. Our daughter spent both Christmas Eve and morning with us despite the fact that she also needed to see her fiancé’s family (she got engaged in November). Our son spent the week with us, having come up from New York.

Each time they come it’s an adjustment, requiring me to make room, not just in my house, but in my heart. Of course I do it without hesitation, but it is still an adjustment. It took me ten years to get to where I enjoy the empty nest.

The room is made and is filled only to be emptied again; it continues to surprise me how much it still hurts when they go away. Eventually this room fades into the background, waiting for the next time it will be needed. Slowly the new life I began when they left the nest filters back in and it soothes my heart.

Robert S. Donovan empty nest,Flickr Creative Commons
Robert S. Donovan empty nest,Flickr Creative Commons

This has been the conundrum for me with regards to the empty nest, this making room. I find it requires a heart that is vulnerable, supple and open. It requires a bit of courage, even for the creation of the smallest of rooms.

I distinctly remember the day I created that first room. All of a sudden the barriers came down and I announced to my husband that I was ready to have children. That moment came after several years of chasing a dream of being a professional musician, an all-consuming passion. I soon found out that motherhood is equally all-consuming; something had to give. I sold off my recording equipment, put the guitar away and immersed myself in my babies. It was not a hard choice. Love facilitates room-building

Gareth Saunders Bedroom in the sunshine, Flickr Creative Commons
Gareth Saunders Bedroom in the sunshine, Flickr Creative Commons

After five years the desire to write and record songs returned and it became a painful tug of war. Creative work requires large blocks of quiet time and as any mother knows, that time is non-existent, especially if you also work outside of the home. There were plenty of moments of guilt and regret and before I knew it, my children were grown.

So many moments of great joy and pride. Moments of heartache and sorrow. My heart was exercised and stretched in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

Would I do it all again in the same way? Probably. Do I miss those childhood years? Very much so. Am I haunted by some leftover regrets? Sometimes. But it’s nice to have found a resting place in this empty nest.

In the meantime, I can enjoy the companionship of my grown children. Watching their burgeoning careers, enjoying pictures of the new apartment, marveling as they learn how to cook and make a home, meeting the significant others and reveling in the engagement and planning for the wedding all make for a rich post-childhood life. We share dreams and hopes for the future. The blossoming of my children into well-adjusted adults is an enormous blessing. As the song goes from The Sound of Music, somewhere along the way, “I must have done something good.”

Sara Björk The heart, Flickr Creative Commons
Sara Björk The heart, Flickr Creative Commons

So, I will continue to make room. The stretching will continue to hurt but it makes for a strong muscle. And while waiting for the grandchildren, I will hug and kiss my cats in anticipation.